Do Svidanya
by StZen
Summary: NOW OFF HIATUS/ 'I walked away from the life they'd handed me, with a drive of determination to prove myself. My life-changing adventure had begun. I followed a reason unknown, and it led me back to him'. Kai/Hilary
1. Chapter 1

(A/N) I am very, very, _very_ excited about this story. Seriously. I generally write short stories, this is the second long one I've planned. I was going to finish my other one first (A Different Kind of Love Story), but I got so eager to write this one, I had to begin it.

If I write this well, which I'm hoping I will, by the end it would be an inspired story. I have already written the last chapter in my excitement :P

It's a Kai/Hilary story with tons of inspiration behind it. It takes place a couple of years after the G-Revolution season ends.

The whole thing is Hilarys POV, telling the story from a much older age.

There are 2 OC's but they are minor, Hilary's brother Liam, and another boy named Nikita appears a little later.

Disclaimer- I don't own Beyblade or any of the characters.

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Everything happens for a reason. One of the most valuable lessons I learned while growing up, and I carried it with me always. As far as my younger adolescent years are concerned, there aren't many gaps to fill in. But my real life began a few years later. The plans I had made were suddenly thrown aside when an opportunity was within reach, and I grasped it. I had never found the prospect of my life being completely planned out from the start entirely satisfying.

I believe I could fill a book with my memories from when I was a young woman, and so I am here to tell my story. It was many years ago now, but in a way, the memory still feels as fresh as though it were the day before yesterday.

The story begins with a letter. It was delivered to our house one September morning, addressed to my older brother, Liam. And when he announced that he was making his life-changing decision, it was folded safely in his pocket. My dear big brother. It was not until a while later that I realised what the letter had said. But at the time, I did not concern myself with the content; the news that Liam told us was enough of a distraction from this mysterious letter that he wouldn't show any of us.

He decided to tell me when our parents were not around. Sitting outside in the back garden one warm evening, a couple of days after receiving the letter, he announced to me that he would be going away for a while.

'But, why?' I was not overly disillusioned by the fact that my big brother had decided to leave, I was merely curious. He had only just finished school and it seemed to me that he was making a move rather quickly.

'I want to see the World.' He answered in a simple, somewhat romanticised way. 'I want to travel, and visit new places.'

'Where are you going?' My overpowering sense of curiosity took over my mind.

He smiled down at me as he repled, 'Moscow.' and the conversation was over.

Everything went smoothly for him, it was all organised and he was set to leave a month later. Unfortunately, or perhaps, fortunately, depending on which way you want to look at it, the whole situation turned around one day. I was woken up one Saturday morning to be told that Liam had fallen seriously ill. It was a severe case of pneumonia, or at least that's what the doctors said. He was to be refined to his bed until he made a full recovery, and certainly would not be able to depart to Moscow, as he had planned.

I never knew whether or not it was the pneumonia that killed him in the end.

For many years I had been walking in the shadows of others. Whether it be my dear brother, or my friends, I had always been following behind it seemed. I felt that there was something that I had to prove, not just to them, but to myself. I had no idea what my brothers reasons were, but I suddenly understood. I realised the desire to prove ourselves, the need for adventure, lay within all of us Tatibanas.

My plan was simple; I would take my brothers train ticket and head out for Moscow myself. I felt I was a big girl, and old enough to take care of myself. I decided that I too needed an opportunity for adventure, a chance to break away from my current lifestyle for a while, and a way in which I could prove myself. Though at the time I did not know what it was I had to prove.

I slowly stepped into the dimly-lit room. He was a pale and shivering wreck, bound in blankets and sweating profusely. I had never seen him look so sick, and it broke my heart. As I made my way towards him, he threw his arm up in protest.

'No, Hilary! Get back! You'll catch it too!'

I was forced to speak to him from the other end of the room. Had I known, I would have fought so much harder. The letter was sitting, half folded, on the bedside table, amongst numerous medicine bottles and glasses of water. I should have asked him then and there what it said. But my mind was focussed on another matter.

'Liam, I'm going to go to Moscow. I'm going to take your ticket and leave in your place.'

He looked pained, for lack of a better word. He blinked sadly up at me, knowing that life was unfair and he would not be able to go on his little adventure, but his little sister would get to go instead. I knew that life was unfair. But ever since I had thought up the plan, I had become more and more determined to carry it out. That freedom and opportunity I craved was within my grasp now. He could do nothing about it. When that conversation ended, I had done my best to get him to understand. He gulped back his frustration and bid me a safe journey. I had my brother's permission. Unfortunately, that was not the most important thing. There was somebody else I would have to convince. I could never have left without his consent; he was one of the most important people in the world to me. I could predict how difficult it would be, before I even approached his door.

'You want to…leave?'

'Tyson, hear my reasons!' I cut him off before he could start his usual rampage. Sure enough, his mouth had been open, and dangerously close to forming the word 'no'.

'Hil, you can't leave! Where are you even going? _Why_ are you even going?'

'Let me speak, Tyson!' An impatience much like the kind you get when talking to a pestering child came over me. I calmed down enough to get out my next sentence, while he listened carefully as I knew he would when he saw how irritated I became. 'I am taking the train out to Moscow in three weeks. My brother was going to leave, but,' I paused, swallowed and carried on, 'he's really sick.'

He looked slightly bewildered at my sudden urge to rush off to Moscow. I wasn't sure why a shadow crossed over his face at the mention of the city. On a normal day, I would have demanded a reason for his reaction. On a normal day, he would have given his reason before I could demand it. On a normal day…

'You haven't told me why yet…'

'Well,' I cleared my throat, ready for the outburst that would follow my seemingly ridiculous reasons, 'I…Tyson I just need a break, a life change. I have something to prove.'

He wasn't giving up without objection. 'But, can't--?'

'I'm sorry, Tyson,' and I meant it, 'There's nothing you can do. I need to do this by myself. If there was some way you could help, I would let you.' I took in breath. Suddenly, I could no longer look him in the face. 'I need to do this alone.'

He was quiet for a few minutes. He did not object right away, as I had half expected him to. He had matured so much since I had first met him. After his defeat against BEGA he had become a completely different person. The stubborn streak had never completely vanished, but I suddenly became aware of his maturity. I glanced over when I had regained the courage, and it seemed that he was reluctant to look at me aswell. He had his head bowed, and that was when I knew. The battle was as good as won, but nothing would be easy.

He raised his head, finally. 'But what about…us?'

I had been waiting for that question. Tyson and I had been in a steady relationship for two years. We were the couple that had been waiting to happen. I had loved him for so long, and always been such a silly girl; too foolish to admit a thing to myself. He was everything to me. And he loved me too. We relied on each other. I tell you this to help you to understand how difficult it was for me. I loved Tyson very much, but this growing determination was stronger. What the reason for it was, I still did not know. I needed this get-away. I was prepared for the question he asked. I was prepared for the answer that I had to give.

'When I come back, everything can go back to normal…'

'But until then…?' He already knew the answer. His questioning was only making the process more painful.

'I'm sorry, Tyson. Until then, it's over.'

He looked at me and I looked at him. His eyes reflected a terrible sadness. I remember looking at him to this day; it was painful to see the way he looked at me. But the mature Tyson I knew was far less likely to put up a fuss. He swallowed and then sighed. A very sad, but relieved smile came to my face, when he slowly nodded in understanding. I never valued him more than I did then. I was deeply sorry, but so appreciative. With his permission, I was ready to make my departure three weeks later. Without it, I could not have brought myself to leave at all.

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(A/N) This _will_ be a Kai/Hilary ladies and gentlemen, not a Tyson/Hilary.

I'm hoping to make frequent updates, but in the meantime, please R&R :D


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N) Firstly, thanks to the 2 people who reviewed my first chapter :D

I said to myself that before I upload this chapter I will continue with 'A Different Kind of Love Story', but unfortunately, though I have all other chapters planned out, I've managed to get writers block on the second chapter of it rolls eyes so there's not much progress there…

Thus, I am continuing this story until an idea comes to mind.

Disclaimer- I don't own Beyblade or any of the characters.

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Suddenly it was as though my life had been given a jump-start. The girl I had been before, the girl that the whole nation had seen beside the Bladebreakers, was ready to take on the World. Or, Moscow, at least. But regardless, I was eager and ready. A keyed up girl, anxious with anticipation. The excitement of knowing, after all these years of thinking your life would stay the same, that a massive change is near. I will never forget that feeling.

But more importantly, I was determined. There was a reason my brother had fallen sick and been unable to leave. I was meant to go instead. This was an opportunity that I just had to take. At the time, I still had no idea of the reason, the _real_ reason for my brother's interest in Moscow. I did not know why Tyson had made such a face when I had mentioned the city's name. I didn't know what the letter said. I did not know what Liam would have been doing in Moscow. I did not know what I had saved him from. I still don't know if I really saved him at all.

When I said goodbye to my parents, the strange feeling I got was a mixture of sadness and relief. My mother sobbed bitterly into her handkerchief and my father kept a brave face, as always. Liam had stumbled down the stairs to say goodbye to me. I could tell he was still miffed over his misfortune. But nobody could understand that more than I. Had it been me, I imagine at that age I would have refused point-blank to leave my bedroom.

'Well, I'll see you, Hil.' He looked as though he was going to pull me in for a hug, but then he remembered his condition and pretended he had been stretching.

Ignoring his condition and his reluctance completely, I threw my arms around neck dramatically, with a painfully ironic suggestion that I was never going to see him again. But it was not in the least upsetting. I had a tremendous smile on my face as I broke away from the hug. 'Bye Liam. I'll miss you.'

'Oh, Hilary!' My mother was positively weeping at the thought of losing her little girl. She threw her arms around me as I had just done to my brother, and squeezed me so tightly I thought my head would come off. When she released me, I rolled my eyes, though I was smiling all the same.

'Mom, stop it!' I snapped with impatience, though the smile contradicted my tone. 'It's not as if I'm leaving for ever!'

I chuckle slightly with the memory of what I said to her. Of course, it was true; I did not leave for ever. But my life had a tremendous split down the middle, some three years or so afterwards. It seemed to me that for ever ended there, and another for ever began. In a sense, it feels as though I went back on my word.

I was taken by a cab to the train station. While I sat in the station, the warm sun began to set over Japan. The cool evening would soon become a frozen morning when I would awake to find myself in the heart of Russia. The sky began to turn a beautiful shade of pinky orange, and while I had my book open on my lap, I couldn't tear my eyes away from the beautiful view that surrounded me. It made me think of all the times when we used to sit on the hill-side, or on the beach, when training was over and we had nothing else to do. We thought it was our destiny. We allowed our petty problems to get to us as though we would never be able to fix them. We had it all planned out. I wondered where they all were, now that all was said and done. But I didn't have much time to ponder over this matter, because a loud puff had indicated to me that my train had arrived.

Stepping up into the carriage, I turned back to the gorgeous sun-set. 'Sayonara' I whispered to my home town, before stepping further on-board.

I found an empty compartment and was fortunate enough to remain alone for most of the journey. I threw my luggage on the bunk above my seat, and sat down, removing my coat and making myself feel at home. It was to be a long journey.

As I gazed out of the window at the other passengers on the platform, I noticed a large number of people appeared to be taking extended journeys. For several large families were gathered around some of the doors, while some young children had half their bodies out of the windows, holding on to their mother's hands. Many of these boys looked to be about the same age, and I assumed that it was some sort of school they were being sent off to. I smiled down sadly as a little girl cried against her mother's large coat, watching her big brother depart from his family. Had the circumstances been different, I could have been that girl, watching my brother leave.

As the train began to depart, a brawl outside my compartment caught my attention. I listened in closely, trying to catch what the boys were saying.

'You can't expect to be admitted in with _that _thing!' I caught one boy say, and several others mumbled in agreement.

'I'll bet it's ten times better than yours!'

'What, now he can't even speak for himself, Nikita?'

'I can speak for myself…'

'It doesn't matter, you're both worthless, and there's no way either of you will get accepted using those pieces of plastic.'

It finally dawned on me what they were talking about. Some poor boy was being taunted by his peers over, unless I was mistaken, a beyblade. I physically shook my head in disbelief before I remembered how seriously people could take the whole sport of beyblading. To my best friends it had meant everything once. After so much time, it was easy to forget that some people saw it as more than simply a game.

I threw the compartment door open to step in and quell the bullying, to find that the group of boys had taken off. I looked up and down but didn't see anybody, so I shrugged and closed the door. It was not my place anyway to get involved, and I was exhausted. The sun had set by now and the deep blue sky was laden with tiny bright stars. There was not a cloud in the sky that night. I pulled a cushion down from the bunk where my bag sat, and rested my head on it, sprawling myself over the long seat, ready to fall asleep.

The first time I woke up, I forgot for a moment where I was. I couldn't see a thing for the lack of light, and fumbled around stupidly until I realised that I was on a moving train. The lights outside the compartments had all been turned off so that the passengers could sleep, so I found myself encased in ebony. Once my eyes had adjusted, I could make out the stars from outside the window, and the faint ripple of water, reflected against the silver moon. I sighed, noticing my breath in the form of condensation. It was then that I realised how cold it was. My body had probably woken me up to alert me of the sudden temperature drop. I reached up to the bunk and pulled down the thin blanket. It was slightly pathetic, but it would have to do. I pulled my coat over me as well and lay down.

I was not aware that I fell asleep, but I must have done, for the next time I opened my eyes, dawn was approaching. A faint orange line formed on the horizon, and everything looked a little lighter. I wondered for a moment what had woken me this time, when I suddenly heard a faint whimpering. As I sat up, it stopped abruptly. I found myself looking into the face of a young man. He might have even been older than me, but I was alarmed to see that he was in tears. He looked petrified at having woken me, but I gave him a kind smile to ease his nerves. He made a hurried attempt to clean himself up, but he continued to sob.

I attempted to help. 'Why are you crying?'

He froze and looked even more astonished, and I guessed that he did not understand the language. I assumed that he must have boarded the train in one of the other countries we had stopped in on the way. Before I could say anything more, he scampered around in a mad panic, picking up all his belongings. I had no time to object, or offer him any words of comfort before he had fled from the compartment entirely. He did not even pause to slide the door closed.

I closed it for him and returned to looking out the window. The sun was rising, but I could sense the temperature was even colder than it had been during the night. I knew that we must have arrived in Russia, and a sense of excitement rushed over me. I beamed out of the window. I was out on my own now. There was nobody here to protect me. I was on a mission, an adventure, for a reason still unknown, to prove myself.

After a while, the snow-covered trees cleared and I could make out the faint trace of civilization in the distance. As the train pulled up nearer, the station came into view in the distance. My eyes grew wide and my mouth involuntarily fell open. I breathed heavily for a few moments, as if it had been years since I had used my lungs. I was suddenly struck with fear. Although I had been waiting on the train all night, I had not expected to arrive just yet. Although I had been preparing for a month, it all seemed to be too soon. With shaky hands, I wrapped myself up in my scarf and put on my warm coat, before reaching for my heavy bag.

As I shuffled on to the platform, I almost gasped out loud at the biting cold. My breath rose up in front of my face, as I tried my best to remember why I was there. Ignoring the urge to jump back on a train going in the opposite direction, I made my way towards the exit. Standing just outside the door, I took a look around. The station was conveniently located near the outskirts of town, so I was able to walk. I could feel my confidence coming back to me, and I gave a small satisfactory smile to myself.

I had arrived.

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(A/N) Hehe, I know, the first few chapters tend to be tedious, but by the end it will get so much better, that's a promise!

I'm hoping to make frequent updates, but in the meantime, please R&R :D


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N) So I know it's been a little while, but I thought that because I've kept you waiting I'll upload two chapters at once. That way it also gets more interesting quicker. At the moment it is rather tedious I know, but process will speed up. I have it all planned :)

Disclaimer- I don't own beyblade or any of the characters

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I spent much of that day wandering aimlessly by the river-side, and through the streets that busied further as the day progressed. I wanted to prolong the challenge of checking into my hotel as much as possible, so I found ways to amuse myself. Moscow was a fascinating city, full of history and beautiful buildings. I felt completely engulfed in my surroundings. While the sun had risen only set a little while before, the streets were mostly empty, given the small amount of people rushing off to work. I figured that it would be easier to get a decent breakfast when more stores were open, so I decided to sit by the banks for a while, watching the calm waters flow aimlessly through the stream. It was apparent, but not to my knowledge, I was not the only one who had sat by those banks in the past five years.

For some reason a vague memory chose that moment to re-appear in my mind. An imaginative story I was once told. Some sort of myth. I could not remember who had told it to me, though it could not have been longer than three years before. A story of dark corridors, lit only by small candles. Chains and cells, a terrible prison for those who did not deserve punishment. Men in masks, and demands being chanted, again and again and again. It was so unclear to me that I wondered if I had ever been told a story at all, or if it was just a dream. Perhaps it was some sort of nightmare that my subconscious had tricked me into believing was real. Such a thing could not really exist, I thought I knew that much. But where the story came from was still a mystery, and I had conveniently forgotten the ending.

I pondered on it for some time before I realised how hungry I was. Collecting up my bag, I decided it was time to make a move. Staring hard with concentration at the pathetic attempt at a legible map, I tried to make my way into town, stopping only occasionally to gaze with awe at the stunning palaces and monuments. It truly was a Russian paradise.

As I ventured further into town, I found a quaint little café and stopped for breakfast. At this time I was so mislaid in wonder that it took me several minutes of attempting to read the newspaper before I realised I didn't understand the language. I had known that this might be a small issue and so had taken the time to learn a few Russian words in the weeks before I had departed. However, this proved to be almost useless as I still couldn't understand spoken words or the writing. I sighed and lightly tossed the paper on to the chair beside mine. The room was slowly starting to fill up more and I could hear loud and busy voices on the street. This gave me that sort of excitement someone might get, who can hear expressive voices but can't understand their dull content.

After my meal I walked slowly around the square that I had ended up in. Now there were people around, talking excitedly, or rushing to get somewhere, or enjoying their morning coffee, sitting by the statues. I was struck by the vitality that one place could hold. Despite the increasing wind and the icy breeze, the way these people talked, the way they moved, we might as well have been baking in the hot sun. I had come to the conclusion that I loved the city, only three hours into my stay.

As curious as a young girl can be, I was eager to see more. Rounding a corner, I turned down a path that I had not seen at first. This street was not busy, but the road continued and I thought I may get somewhere interesting if I kept going. Wrapping my coat tighter around me, I made my way down the quiet street.

'Oh.' A whisper escaped me as I peered at the building I found myself standing in front of. There was a plaque on the brick wall, but I did not understand what it said. It was an old building, but my first impression was that it was still rather beautiful in its own strange way. At the time there was nobody around, and I mistook it to be abandoned. Out of foolish curiosity, I attempted to open the gate, but it was locked. I realise now that had it not been, that little careless act could have been severely regretted later.

I stood in front of it for a long time, it's a wonder that nobody saw me. Perhaps somebody _had_ seen me, thinking it not worth the effort to bother with a silly foreign girl. I remember thinking with a naïve mind that it needed cleaning. The walls were dingy and on some you could barely tell where green met grey, as a garden of moss crawled its way up the sides. The early-fallen snow lay crisp on the concrete grounds, almost blue against the blinding sunlight. All of a sudden I heard a strange noise coming from somewhere above my head, though when I looked around there was nobody in sight. I figured somehow that I was being watched, or at least, I had stayed there too long anyway, and decided to keep moving.

For the many hours which followed, I inwardly took a little journey into the depths of my mind, the way I was physically wandering about the busying city streets. The buildings, old and new, were as timeless as their era; a marvellous history of prosperity. Many of them were from this time, perhaps even longer ago, which enhanced the beauty even further. It wasn't the same as the town I knew, where the old buildings were nothing special, and soon replaced with new ones. These spectacular palaces with gates taller than trees and courtyards which would fit a large house of their own, held more value than my whole city. I smiled and rolled my eyes at the thought of Tyson marching straight past them without looking twice, probably complaining about his hunger or anything else he could carp about. I didn't believe him capable of enjoying such splendour.

How many years did I spend walking these streets, passing by these unique structures, and when did we ever tire of them? How long did I think the beauty would last? Now it seems there was no time at all between first laying awe-struck eyes upon them and turning my back forever. At that particular moment, nothing of my future was certain, even what I thought was decided had yet to be thrown aside. I was searching only for that reason which had been drummed into my brain for as long as forever. It's strange to think of the city as being new to me, to remember my fascination after so much time has passed. Things are slowly forgotten with time, and the mind is easily fooled, but I recall as though it were as recent as yesterday the way I was, down to the very last sentiment.

That night was spent in a cheap hotel, as were several others my first few days in the city. To my relief most of the staff spoke English, and all signs were translated underneath the Russian text. I assume it's purpose was to house tourists as many times I would see the excited babble of a language nobody understood but them. The hotel was full of them, all speaking different, all looking different.

Just as I decided to settle down for sleep, the distant vision returned to haunt me. I shut my eyes, but what I saw only became stronger. A long and dark corridor, small candles running down on either side, filthy metal bars to the left and the right, and no sign of an escape. Somebody was talking, but I couldn't see them. It occurred to me that although I was half asleep, this strangely familiar voice was a narration of some kind. I supposed I had been told the story after all.

'They wound on forever, like a maze.' the voice said, 'You could walk or run but no matter how fast you moved, unless you knew your way you'd never find a way out. The tunnels spread underground for miles.'

The haunting, yet soothing, and still very familiar voice eventually put me to sleep, and my reverie gave way to my subconscious mind. It wasn't long before I would know the exact meaning of this strange memory, which had never once risen until that day. Soon enough, it would all become clear. For a while I'd swear to be psychic, but perhaps a part of me just knew. Without even realising, I'd predicted my own future, which at the best of times seemed absurd, but the long shadowed passageways with occasional spurts of light in between turned out to be a strangely accurate portrayal of the next few years I had to live.

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(A/N) Wow that was full of foreshadowing. It's like I've written a spoiler for my own fic :P

Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

(A/N) I'm trying so hard to get back into this story, and I think it's working, but I'm just waiting to get to the later chapters. I'm so glad I already wrote the last because I'd forgotten some of my plans for it :P

OC properly introduced in this chapter. Loveable Nikita. But he will be minor in terms of the story, this is his section really.

Disclaimer- I don't own beyblade or any of the characters

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Nikita always held a special place in my heart because he was the first, and only, real friend I made in Moscow. He had an unmistakable aura of youth about him, captured in a smile which became so precious after a while it grew to be a haven that was difficult to explain. At the time it was filled with character and excitement; reassurance that there was nothing false behind it. Back in those days, it was simply the smile of a new friend.

We had met in the heart of the famous parks of Moscow. Taking a stroll one Saturday afternoon, nostalgia had drawn me deep within the excited crowds which were beginning to gather. The energized individuals forming favouring masses filled me with a strange wistfulness as though I were approaching an important piece of me which had disappeared one day and gone unnoticed until that moment.

I advanced until I was deep within the circle. They surrounded me with their cries and cheers, only enticing me further, while unlike them I was simply in a distant dream. Taking a look over one boys shoulder, I remember smiling like a mother at the recollection of the game I'd grown so fond of. Such a strange idea it seemed to me at first, around four years prior to my current situation. Such a strange idea it seems to me now, a time where I am growing older with each day that passes, and I lead the life of the individual I'd been born as until I reached the age of fourteen. How my life changed as a result of the game, and for a while I believed my destiny lied firmly planted within it, though I never learned to play myself. It seemed even as I lurked around the excited children playing in the park, the game was reappearing in my life, if only for a short while.

When the boy approached I had retreated to a near-by bench. Having been lost in my thoughts, it took me a while to register that a small portion of the excited chatter had been directed at me. I blinked stupidly in his direction for a few moments, and his smile faltered before growing wider.

'Sorry, do you speak English?' he asked me, registering that I had been unable to understand him. I nodded and he beamed, allowing himself to sit beside me and engage me in conversation.

He told me his name was Nikita. The very same, I figured out, from my train voyage when I had first arrived. He was the one defending the poor boy who was being picked on. From this, and his presence in such a place at this time, I gathered that he was a dedicated beyblader. He asked me if I played the sport, and I smiled to myself and told him I had a brief but unforgettable history with it. Over a late lunch, I told him the rest of the tale and he listened avidly. The fascination in his eyes reminded me of the thousands of people who would look down on our team with every victory we earned, once upon a time. It was unmistakable adoration, the sort of thing some people find it very difficult to tire of.

He was a couple of years younger than me, but that bothered neither of us. We were the same height but our backgrounds were worlds apart. His skin was tanned and his hair almost black; I sensed there was some Spanish blood in him, though where he had come from I never asked. He was energetic, friendly and filled with confidence. The out-spoken side of him reminded me with wistful sadness of my best friend who awaited my return. The boy who I would sometimes forget was no longer the fourteen year-old I had once thoroughly disliked, and loved with every fibre of my being, though little did I know it. I suppose there was something about the loveable candid which attracted me towards them. They feared nothing, and wanted everything.

No longer than a few days following our first meeting, I sat on the edge of his bed and watched him throw possessions animatedly into the suitcase at the floor. He had been bouncing off the walls for hours, and for some reason my usual burning curiosity had temporarily been impaired until that moment.

'What's all this for?'

'I'm going into training,' he beamed excitedly, 'I'm finally old enough, and I can go into a school which actually teaches the art of beyblading to students!'

He didn't venture far into his description. His excitement didn't waver, but he knew such a thing wouldn't intrigue me as it did him. He was a keen boy with all the heart in the world, finally being allowed to pursue in something he loves. And who was I? Some girl he had recently met, already sat through too many championship battles to count. It truly was something that he believed every word I said, despite him never seeing me before. And after all that, this girl from the sidelines of every battle, had happened to be wandering through a city in Russia? I wouldn't have believed such a story had it been told to me.

'You won't go to a real school, you mean?' I couldn't help but ask in my apparently naïve disbelief.

He shook his head enthusiastically, 'What would I need school for? No, this is a boarding house, designed for the avid beybladers like me, those who are strong enough at least. We work hard and become stronger, putting us on the fast-track to success.'

He spoke so quickly that by the end of his sentence he had become difficult to understand. I laughed at the zest he showed; it seemed his dream was coming true.

And then a thought struck me. I slept on it that night and for the next day or so I continued to contemplate this decision which was forming like an equation in my mind. The sport of beyblading had been a large portion of my short life, and yet despite my hopes and wishes, I had never been given the chance to learn. There was never a time to teach me, I suppose. But here arose an opportunity. Not only a chance to experience something different and change my way of living, but to pick up on something I had wanted to do for a while now. I decided that, as bizarre as it seemed, this was exactly what I needed.

'I'm going with you,' I told him decisively on his last evening during dinner.

He looked at me and tried not to laugh. 'But you're a girl,' he observed.

I bit back the urge to snap at him and smiled pleasantly instead. 'Not to worry. You just leave that to me.'

I still don't quite know what came over me when I looked into the bathroom mirror and took the paper scissors in my hand. Moments later the symbol of every girl's pride was fallen in the sink. I met the eyes of my reflection again, and nodded my head in confirmation. Much of my hair was gone, but my pride would not be dented in the slightest. I looked much like that one kid we barely knew, the boy who died in the hands of those strange scientists while we were supposed to be on our break and training. I chuckled and rolled my eyes at the memory, before putting it out of my mind.

The next day I marched out in the cold and trudged through the freshly fallen snow, bag slung over my shoulder, and a cap to cover my new hair cut. Beside me strode Nikita, thrilled at me accompanying him. We ran and marched the entire way down the empty roads, coated with a fresh white blanket, laughing and talking about the life we had ahead of us, and all the possibilities. I walked the streets that frozen Russian morning, taking my first steps as a young man.

When we turned down an alley where the sun was blocked out by the taller buildings, we continued to laugh as our excitement grew. Nikita skipped ahead of me and ran a large stick across the metal railings of a fence to our left. The clanging sound echoed down the shaded street, until suddenly it stopped. It occurred to me that we must have arrived at our destination, but only half a second later I realised where we were, and why the area seemed somewhat familiar. I looked anxiously towards him to make sure, but his priceless smile was grinning back at me. Behind him, through the open black gates, a courtyard filled with people stood before a building I had recently mistaken to be filthy and abandoned.

'…This is it?' I could hear the uncertainty overpowering my voice.

'The one and only,' he replied, before seizing my arm and rushing me through the unwelcoming gates. 'This is The Abbey.'

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(A/N) I must have given away the ending about 10 times already in 4 chapters. But I guess that's what I intended from the start so it's alright :)

I don't want people to be informing me (kindly or otherwise) that Nikita is a girl's name. I've seen it used for a girl, but when I went looking for boys names (oh yes, I look for them, they don't just pop into my head) I came across that one. I wouldn't have chosen it if it was a girl's name. So it may be unisex, but that's fine. I think Nikita is the perfect name for him and it shall stay that way :)

Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

(A/N): Okay! I promised three more chapters before July 17th and so that's what I'm setting out to do :D

Right, firstly, thanks to all of you who reviewed, you don't know what it means to me to have 13 reviews for only 4 chapters (sad, I know :P).

Next, to answer marishka91's question (and to anybody else), I'm sorry Kai's not in the story yet, and I can only beg you keep hanging on because he will come into it soon. I must point out that, though this is a KaiHil romance, much of it is centred around Hilary and I apologise if anybody's getting bored. _However_, after the intermission the story's going to progress so much faster (honestly, it's all planned). And some romances you read, the romance doesn't actually begin until about half way through the book. I know the rules for fanfiction and novels are different and I'm not saying Kai's not appearing until half way through, I was using a hypothetical example. But hey, thanks for sticking with the story and I promise you Kai will be here soon.

I hope that paragraph of jibberish didn't confuse you :S

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade or any of the characters, except for Nikita. He's mine and you can't have him :)

* * *

As we approached the large crowds of boys Nikita's age, for reasons unknown to me I found I was holding my breath. Something told me I'd been there before, though such a thing was impossible, and I couldn't recall ever being in an abbey in my life, let alone this one.

The scene before me was played out like a chimera, one I'd never seen the likes of before. In the courtyard where we stood there was an upheaval of excited chatter and faces filled with hope and promise. A little further away, though it seemed they had gone unnoticed by everybody except me, the current students of this abbey stood. They stood like statues with equally stony faces. If there was a single emotion behind the cold expression it would have been nothing short of disgust. Looking around me, I couldn't bear the thought of the cheerful and energetic becoming so placid and cold. I wondered if this was the way everybody looked when they had been taught here.

My eyes travelled to Nikita who was standing beside me with his arm linked in mine, beaming as though his dream were about to come true. All of a sudden, I wanted to turn around and run, dragging him along with me until we were clear out of sight. The feeling of ill-omen I'd received just from looking at the place for a second time was unnerving. The robotic young men who watched us from the other side seemed to pose as more of a warning than a welcome. Already I found myself regretting my decision to accompany Nikita there, I had no idea what I was about to walk into.

I looked to my left to see him beaming at me. 'Why do you look so depressed, Hil? Cheer up a little!' His words reminded me of Tyson so much at that point I wanted to cry. I suddenly wished he were there with me. I missed him, there was no doubting it, and the feeling was so overwhelming now that I was finally faced with the opportunity to begin another life, to prove myself in some way. It was still unbeknownst to me what exactly I had to prove, but I was determined enough to set out to Moscow so I knew there would be no use in turning my back now.

The men who emerged to greet us were about as welcoming as the current students, who still stood silently and going completely unnoticed. They were tall men who all wore the same uniform, wearing masks which covered their eyes. The boys around us began to form lines and Nikita dragged me with him to stand in one with the rest of them. There were several of these tall men who stood beside the lines, as though worried somebody might try to make a break for it. Still clutching Nikita's arm, I swallowed down my doubt and followed the line into the filthy grey building.

When we reached the door there was a guard on either side. Nikita took out his passport to show the guard beside him, and informed mine in Russian that I wasn't from the country. Then, to my horror, the silent giant of a guard pulled a clipboard out from under his robe and asked me for my name.

For a few seconds, which was perhaps too long of a hesitation considering he'd only asked for my name, I just stood there dumbstruck. It seemed my ability to think had been switched off and I began to panic. Nikita hadn't informed me that there was a list, but from the look he was giving the man it didn't look as though he'd known it either.

Opting to speak the first thought which entered my mind, I stuttered out with as much confidence as I could muster 'L-Liam Tatibana'.

With what I took to be an incredible stroke of luck, the man skimmed over the pages and nodded at me to enter. My only guess was that there was another poor boy with my last name and the first name Liam who would now be rejected at the door by the gormless and intimidating guards. Either that, or he hadn't read over the pages thoroughly enough and couldn't care less whether or not somebody got in who wasn't on his list. Either way, I counted my blessings as I stepped into the shady corridor and followed the shadows of a long line of boys who marched further into the endless void.

We were marched down several flights of stairs, more guards walking alongside us at all times. It was silent save for all the footsteps, making it all the more easy to hear my own breath. We were being taken so far underground and down such long and winding corridors I began to forget which way we had come in, though I had made a conscious decision to keep track. I always had a fantastic sense of direction, but these passages were unbelievable.

'They wound on forever, like a maze'.

It was the voice again, the voice of somebody I knew, somebody who had been here before, and told me a story of this very place. It couldn't be anything else; I was sure at that moment that there was nothing like this in the whole world. My breath caught with every turn we made, every candle that illuminated suddenly when we approached. Without those candles everything would have been black. Yet instead of light, they only gave off a glow to enhance the grime which coated the dull brick walls. It was an allusion which only mirrored the ominous vibe of the entire building.

By the time we reached the lowest level it would seem as though we'd walked to the centre of the earth. The guards were still at our sides as we were carefully selected to be put into certain groups. I was grabbed roughly by the elbow and shoved over to the right to stand behind one line, and Nikita was pushed to the back to the line beside me. While the rest of us could only stand and watch, they led the groups one at a time through a large oak door. Before they sent in any groups, the men went around and took everybody's possessions away from them, including some of the boy's hats and scarves. When he approached me, I automatically clung on to mine tighter with a childish reflex. He growled that we'd get them back afterwards and forced it from my hands. I bit hard on my lower lip, knowing that was the last I'd see of the clothes and valuables I'd brought from my home.

Nikita's line was escorted through the oak doors before mine, and I remember wondering with slight absurdity if I would ever see the boy again. Something about this place filled me with dread, made me wonder if I would walk out of there with the same stony expression as the other students and never be happy again. Nothing about this place suggested any form of happiness, and I knew I'd have to work on keeping myself together so as to not slip into their state. I certainly had no desire to return home after my life-changing journey to find myself completely void of all emotion.

When they finally came for us I could tell I wasn't the only one who was anxious. The other boys in the same line as me were looking around nervously, and none of them dared say a word. We were led in by one guard and were instantly greeted by about thirty others, along with a man in a white coat for every student. Mine took me roughly by the arm and dragged me into a booth. This booth was one of many the room was divided into, each with a strange piece of equipment that I didn't recognise.

He directed a question at me but I didn't understand what the man was trying to say. He snapped something in Russian and I blinked stupidly in response. After a few guesses, he finally spoke in a language I could understand. 'Sit on the bench'.

I gingerly sat down on the cold concrete and tried not to show the fear in my face. Suddenly and without warning, the man was at my side with one of the largest needles I had ever seen. I blanched and felt myself growing faint just from looking at it, but before I could do anything it was jabbed right into my upper arm. I began to twitch and struggle, causing a guard to wordlessly barge in and hold me down for all the trouble I was causing.

'Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…' I whispered to myself as I felt the icy liquid drain from the needle into my veins. The only thing I ever feared before I walked into that abbey was the pain and nausea from a needle. It felt like an age had passed before the man finally pulled it out, without bothering to dab at the blood which was appearing from the break.

He ordered me to stand, and I obeyed though I was beginning to see black and white spots. He went through a basic procedure of checking my eyes, ears and throat, before pulling me towards the mechanism and attaching a wire to my other arm. It wasn't until the band was tightly strapped that I realised there was another needle implanted firmly beneath it. I gritted my teeth and screwed up my eyes, willing myself not to cry as the shock and pain was shot through me. The machine was beeping and showing some sort of statistic but I was determined not to look it's direction. I began to feel extremely nauseous when it occurred to me that this time the needle was removing the blood from my body. I covered my mouth with my other hand, trying my hardest to keep myself from being sick and at the same time praying I wouldn't pass out.

When he finally removed the band from my arm, a swelling bruise was already forming. The man in the white coat checked the results on the machine while I sat back on the cold bench and shook. Somewhere in the distance I could hear a strangled cry and it made me even more scared. I couldn't understand their reasons for taking my blood, implanting something else into my veins, and hooking me up to a machine. I had thought this terrible building was meant to hold a school but apparently I'd been wrong. A couple more cries were heard and I wrapped my arms around myself until the man was satisfied with whatever results I'd received.

Finally he nodded to the guard, who had been standing by should I make any other sudden movements, and I was dragged from the booth with a few other boys, all accompanied by guards, into another large room. This was the largest I'd seen so far and I finally saw something I had at least somewhat expected. About twenty or so beyblade battle dishes ran along either side, leaving space in the centre to walk. The guard dragged me about half way down until we found a vacant one. He reached into his robe and handed me a beyblade. 'You use this for now, until the scientists have yours ready' he briefly stated and I took it, turning to find that instead of an actually opponent I faced some sort of contraption; some strange launching mechanism.

Grateful for having at least some knowledge of beyblades, I set it up and got ready to launch it. But before I could begin, something caught my attention. Nikita was standing on the other side with a triumphant grin on his face, holding up his beyblade in victory, but that wasn't who I was looking at. It was the poor boy beside him who caught my attention. The launching machine had defeated him and he had fallen to his knees, blade lying beside him in three pieces. Two guards roughly picked him up by the shoulders and all but dragged him back through another door. I didn't know where they were taking him, but I wanted to drop my beyblade and run over to protest. However, before any such thought could process, the guard beside me had roughly nudged me forward, 'Concentrate'.

'Sorry,' I murmured pathetically, and turned to face the dish. I suddenly realised how important this little test was for me. From the looks on some of these boy's faces, this was the stage that really mattered. I gulped and preyed that all the watching I'd ever done from the sidelines might help me at least a tiny bit. I had spent two years organising training sessions and planning out strategies, and if those worked perfectly well for my team then why shouldn't they for me? I knew at that point, though technique would be difficult for a beginner, much of it had to do with confidence.

I glared at the launcher with my eyes narrowed, as though trying to win a staring contest. It wasn't a person, but that didn't make it any more difficult to defeat. In fact, I remember thinking it could be an advantage. The machine flashed a red light and the guard stiffly said 'three,' as I gripped the rip cord a little tighter.

'Two,' a yellow light flashed and I thought of my challenge, and all other's I'd witnessed in the past. I thought of my team, how I'd watched them for so long, how I'd so badly wanted to be like them, how I'd never had the chance to learn. This was my chance, and I finally realised it. If only they could see me now, I thought. I decided that this was for my team as much as it was for me, and they were on my mind when the light flashed green and the guard stated 'one. Let it rip'.

I won the battle against the launcher and so passed the test they'd presented me with. I was both grateful and surprised to find that defeating the machine had been easier than I thought it would be, and it brought on a strange thrill to think that perhaps I had potential to be good at the sport after all. But for now, I had done what was required of me, and was led down the hall and out the door into a large room where the other boys had congregated, a mixture of emotions throughout the group. Some, like Nikita, were excited at their victory, many simply looked relieved, and a few, like me, were standing there letting it show on their face just how terrified they were.

* * *

(A/N): I almost ended the chapter with the 'let it rip' part, when I realised how cheesy it was :P

Also, must apologise in case this chapter wasn't written very well. School's over for me now, you see, and well without English class I find my skills slip a little, so I hope it was okay :)

Please keep with this story it's going to get more interesting soon I promise. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!


	6. Chapter 6

(A/N): Yay it looks like I have some new reviewers, thanks a lot everyone!

Gahh! I hate this chapter! I literally forced myself to write it today. I can't keep putting things off or I won't get the next one done in time. I'm determined not to be like most authors and make promises I won't keep :P

Okay so the good news; I cut out a whole chapter because the first half of this story is waaayy too slow. This means that in chapter 7, the next chapter, we finally have a turning point in the story! Yay!

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade or any of the characters, except for Nikita.

* * *

I must have only been in that god-forsaken place for a few weeks at the most, but looking back it seems I spent several years trapped there. No amount of trauma or denial could erase those memories, though in my earlier years I tried so hard to forget. Now I keep hold of them and treasure them dearly, because as difficult as it is to believe, those were the weeks where nothing was wrong. The time I spent being mistreated in that abbey was the cloud which blocked the sunshine, but that sunshine was destined to be followed by a most dangerous storm.

I can remember almost every night I spent lying awake in a cell on a pitiful excuse for a bed. I can remember almost every day we were worked to the bone in order to succeed. We were escorted to the cells in the early evening, and awoken in the early morning. In between we had three barely satisfactory meals and the rest of the time was spent in training. We were all divided and my division spent the mornings working on physical strength workouts, while we spent all the afternoon on beyblading.

Only a couple of days after I passed the entrance test and the fitness examination, I was proven to be completely able-bodied and free of any disease. I remember fuming at being notified of this information, and in my ignorant mind thinking that I could have told them I was disease-free and taking my blood was a waste of time. When I was informed this, I was also handed a personalised beyblade. Supposedly, it was designed to use my strengths to it's advantage and react according to the way I chose to fight. I never grew attached to the beyblade the way I'd imagined I would; perhaps because there was no bitbeast inhabiting it and most of the student's beyblades looked very similar. It was difficult to feel unique with a personalised beyblade that looked like the rest of them, but we were instructed to be grateful as the Leader had supposedly assisted in the designing process himself. For this, of course, we were all to be extremely honoured.

Considering the process of assigning a specified beyblade for each of us, we never used them as much as I was expecting to; considering I was still under the impression this was a facility with the soul purpose of teaching beyblading to students. Most of the afternoons were spent on launching exercises and drills.

I had never seen anything like it. We lined up and filled the room completely, holding nothing but a launcher and rip chord. For hours all we did was pull our arms back and fourth, launching an imaginary beyblade and pretending we had an opponent. I had first seen some of the older students performing these exercises, and it was frightening. No longer did they hold no emotion on their stony faces; they now glared daggers with concentration, moving in sync like robots, all the while chanting the word 'victory'. I couldn't believe the emphasis being placed on the aspect of winning; it seemed that the only acceptable result was victory, and defeat was nothing short of humiliation.

I so wanted to turn away, run for my life and forget what I had seen. It frightened me to know that the boys I was getting to know by sight would one day turn out like them. They were monsters on the inside. Yet, I couldn't keep my eyes off them. It was like a graphic train wreck that's impossible not to watch. I stood and observed them for hours that day.

We were kept in some of the worst conditions imaginable. I hadn't even known such a place could exist and call itself a school, let alone that I may end up living in one. I might have run away if the security wasn't so advanced. The gates were always locked and far too high to climb, there was never a time where we could leave the inside of the abbey, and the courtyard and inner corridors were filled with tiny cameras which I hadn't noticed before. I recalled the time I'd almost tried to break in and reprimanded myself for being so careless. Somebody probably saw the whole thing. Knowing that as I stood outside with my luggage; a curious girl who had no clue of her future, these android boys were performing drills and undergoing experimental treatment made me wonder how I could ever have thought the old building was neglected.

One night when I lay on the cold metal frame of the bed, unable to sleep, I turned to see Nikita was as wide awake as I. I sat up to see him polishing his beyblade as he often did. I felt a pang of guilt, seeing mine un-touched at the foot of the bed, but made no effort to reach out for it and sat there watching Nikita instead for a few minutes. Finally, I found the courage to ask 'Nikita, is this honestly what you were expecting?'

He looked up at me with a smile, that priceless smile I still think about sometimes. Still cleaning his beyblade, he responded 'Perhaps it isn't, but it doesn't bother me. I know that everything they teach us here is for our own benefit, and I'll tough it out to fulfill my dream.

'But don't you see what they're doing to us?' I snapped, my automatic curiosity and short temper kicking in. 'You can't think it right for them to treat us this way?'

He shrugged and sighed 'Hi-_Liam_,' he corrected, looking around cautiously. I followed suit; it wouldn't have surprised me if a camera lurked in every cell to make sure nobody attempted to escape though the bars. 'we are strong and we will cope. If we make it though the time we spend here, we'll not only be better beybladers, but we'll be stronger in general. I think we should embrace it, because it can only be beneficial'.

I ignored the strong urge to argue, knowing it would make little difference, and lay back down to try and sleep. Despite the strenuous exercise, getting to sleep was always difficult and I feared I was becoming an insomniac. I was often deep in thought, sometimes filled with fear, and usually trying to fathom an escape plan, but to no avail. Sometimes I would be too terrified to open my eyes, but not once do I remember crying. Somehow the entire thing felt like a nightmare, and tears would simply be a waste for something which seemed so temporary. From the very beginning, I couldn't see myself staying there for very long. Yet, the chanting, screaming, and even the voice I hadn't yet identified plagued me constantly, matched with an image whenever I closed my eyes.

'You could walk or run but no matter how fast you moved, unless you knew your way you'd never find a way out'.

I'll never forget the first afternoon they had us battle against eachother. I had welcomed the exercise at first, thinking back to about a month before when I had seen the local Russian boys and girls beyblading and laughing in the parks of Moscow. I didn't expect an afternoon of joy, yet even after knowing the fear which the abbey was able to inflict, I could never have predicted how heavy my heart would feel when the battles were over. I had never planned to shake so violently, nor to be so struck with panic when I had to walk the dark corridors alone that evening.

I stood facing my opponent, a boy who looked at least three years younger than I was and at least a foot smaller. From the way he quivered I got the impression he was deemed weak by the Leader, and the guards wanted a reason to be rid of him.

I was about to offer him a comforting smile, when two hands were clamped firmly on my shoulders and a guard made himself known at my side. 'He is the enemy. You must obliterate him. Defeat is no option.'

The guard standing behind my poor opponent told him the same thing, and we were instructed to take our positions, ready to launch. I stared into the dish and tried to remember the launching exercises we'd spent countless hours on. My arms still ached, but that was no excuse for not achieving the perfect launch. A thought entered my mind telling me to throw the match, but out of fear of what might happen to me, I ignored it and carried on concentrating.

'Vanquish the opposition promptly. Remember our Leader is watching to access the students'

I automatically spun around. What I had been expecting is unknown even to me, but of course I saw nothing. The box above was fitted with tainted glass, allowing the men inside to see us, but we could not see them. A great mystery surrounded the Leader; I don't recall anybody admitting to knowing what he looked like. He didn't even appear to have a name, the students and guards only referred to him as Leader and we were all supposed to worship him as though he were a god. I had only seen him twice, and that was a mere shadow. It was impossible to be able to distinguish him properly, all I knew was that he was shorter than most of the guards; though they all stood at around six and a half feet tall. It was next to nothing, and so the Leader we devoted ourselves to remained an ambiguity.

Yet the fact that he was watching meant as much to me as it did the rest of them; any decision made by him would be carried out, and nobody completely knew just what he was capable of.

'The tunnels spread underground for miles' the voice began again as I was getting ready to launch for my first battle that afternoon. It was becoming clearer now, the owner of the voice and the things he told me. 'I'd never again set foot in that abbey…'

'Three,' the guard behind me called out. The boy looked as though he was trying to concentrate but my mind had temporarily blanked.

'…nothing good came out of that place. I was horrified each time I entered through those doors…'

'Two,' I blinked and shook my head slightly, my short hair flicking into my face. I believed I'd finally identified the voice, but it couldn't possibly be…

'…and that was only the first time he betrayed us…'

That sentence stood out as though he were standing right beside me. It was unmistakable. My eyes widened and I gasped 'Tyson!'

'One, let it rip!'

It didn't take long for the battle to come to a close. I suddenly remembered telling myself to take it easy on the boy, and felt terrible as I saw his blade fly from the dish and land stiffly on the concrete floor. It almost happened in slow motion. The guard beside me stated 'victory', but I barely heard it. I didn't care that I had won the battle, this boy before me was swaying dangerously on the spot, mumbling something in Russian. I gulped and opened my mouth to say something, but I never got the chance. Before I could even move, the ground opened up beneath him, revealing a long chute which the boy fell through. I had to fight the urge to scream, but as I made to move the guard stiffly took my arm. I fought for only a couple of seconds, before realising it was hopeless. Where that boy disappeared to I never found out, but before long I found another opponent placed over the closed hole in the concrete floor.

When I finally stumbled to my cell that night, I was filled with relief to find Nikita already waiting for me. Despite the collected attitude he once had, I could see that he too was shaken. When he saw me he launched himself from the edge of the bed and we threw our arms around eachother. This wasn't the last time we were going to experience such brutality, and we both knew it.

From that day, insomnia became an even worse problem for me. I lay awake that night, too afraid to even close my eyes. When they drifted shut, all I saw was the petrified faces of my opponents, one by one, as they all fell through the same chute. It was enough to keep me from falling asleep. On top of that, I couldn't stop thinking about Tyson. Now that I'd identified his voice as the one that told me the stories, I began to wish I'd listened closer to him. Tyson had been here before; he'd walked the corridors and made it past the oak doors. I couldn't think of a plausible reason as to how and why he'd found himself in such a place. I wondered what he'd say if he knew I was here, what would he think if he saw me lying here thinking of him, dressed as a boy simply to get in, and wishing more than anything to find a way out.

I clamped my hands over my ears to block out the screams which I could have been imagining. I rolled on my side to face the harmless wall, and prayed I'd find my escape route soon.

* * *

(A/N): (proof-reading...) Heh, I called the abbey a god-forsaken place, how ironic!

This was one of those chapters which fills up space between events, just to show how awful a place like the abbey can be. I can imagine it would leave quite the scar. And it is important, despite the fact that Hilary wasn't there for long.

I'll make sure to have chapter 7 up soon, so hang tight, and review if you'd like, I'd appreciate the support :D


	7. Chapter 7

(A/N): I am so proud! :D Everyone, low and behold: an author who actually makes the deadlines! Even with houseguests being a bit of a pain, I woke myself up early and got down to some serious fanfiction :D

This chapter is very special because it's up in celebration of me passing my driving test!! XD I am so RELIEVED! No more lessons for me D Okay, excitement over, let's get down to this slightly depressing fic...

I think this is my longest chapter yet, which is pretty cool. And yeah I changed the summary too; the other one was vague and boring…not that this new one isn't :P but oh well.

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade or any of the characters, except for Nikita.

* * *

It certainly wasn't the last time that such terror was to be displayed before our eyes. After that day almost half of our substantial group had vanished into thin air; apparently deemed not strong enough to continue. Somebody claimed that the Leader wanted us reduced to a hundred students; a twentieth of what we started out as. And every battle won by fortune; every time a look of pure dread crossed over their dirty faces, this was our Leader's way of simply narrowing us down. Somehow simply letting them walk out in tact wasn't enough for him.

In a hesitantly bright voice, Nikita suggested that perhaps I quell my trepidation, and breathe easier with every battle won because it was improving my skills at the very least. But this had gone so far beyond beyblading by then. It just didn't feel like a game anymore. With every step we took up to the large dishes, we knew that one of us would miss our chance to step back again in victory. This felt more like a battle to stay alive.

I also didn't even believe what Nikita told me about my skills. The only thing I had properly learned how to do since I joined the abbey was launching impeccably; as I should have with all the drills we were forced to do. I could also manage thirty five weak push-ups, and learned to eat what ever was put in front of me without question. It no longer mattered what the semi-edible substance was; that simply wasn't important anymore. I finally clicked that sustenance is what would keep us strong. But my beyblading skills were another story. I may have stepped back from every dish a winner; never once feeling the anticipation before the inevitable drop, but I couldn't pick up a single skill in my strategies. I couldn't even pin-point _strategies_, I simply tried to out-last them, and it worked. I don't believe I was ever destined to be a proper beyblader; I just had an incredible stroke of luck for the most part. Though I would never admit this to Nikita, the boy who kept looking younger to me, with such determination he would sit awake long into the night, polishing his beyblade and thinking up battle tactics. I suppose in the end, he was the sort of person they wanted.

One early afternoon, once all my tasteless sustenance had been swallowed, I decided I could no longer waste the one free hour of the day sitting on that filthy stone pew in front of several hundred miserable and petrified students. The room where lunch was served was the abbey; the only part of the mammoth building which would have originally existed. It was the largest religious building I had ever seen, but compared to the running corridors and science laboratories below, everything above ground just felt so small. Dumping my chipped plate on top of the pile at the end of our wooden table, I left my seat and made my way back to the dark spiralling staircase which we used so often it just didn't seem scary anymore.

A majority of the students, me included on most days, would simply spend our free hour sitting in the abbey. Some would even use it to it's full capacity, kneel down before the dusty alter and prey for something good to come out of our experience; or better yet, to be allowed to go home. Though I believe they all knew that the angels with dirty faces would never hear their pleas. Under no circumstances were we allowed outside. I believe even if there ever was a fire, they would rather us roast than risk a chance of us escaping through the bars in the gate. Perhaps in those times where we were imprisoned in darkness and grime, another foreign and naïve child would walk past the beautiful building and wonder if anyone was really in there. Perhaps nobody ever was. Maybe we were all just allusions, forced into custody for eternity and never to set foot into the real world from our concealed ghost town.

I descended the stairs and made my way down the main corridor, past the fork in the path where the one skylight was placed, and plunged myself back into darkness again. I knew where I was going that afternoon; I was heading to the arena. I planned to stand away from the openings in the floor and try to perfect some kind of skill. My beyblade was planted firmly in my hand, launcher in the back pocket of my filthy, ragged clothes. Nikita had given me the idea, and for once I had seen sense in what he told me. The object of our time here was to survive above all else, and with the beybladers being narrowed down and quickly improving in a panic to better themselves, I knew I had to step my game up somewhat.

I never even had the chance to perfect some sort of skill. No sooner had I entered the room my tired eyes were drawn elsewhere. Somewhere to the left of my usual dish, one of the gaps in the floor lay open, as foreboding as ever though there was nobody above to fall through. At first I attempted to ignore it, but my incurable curiosity took over and, cursing myself all the while, I took one last look in the direction of the tinted box I preyed was empty, and jumped into the dark.

It wasn't a never-ending fall like the stories had told me. The speed at which I fell, enough to make my stomach flip over on itself, only kept my in terrified gloom for a few seconds, before I painfully landed on the cold stone floor. Perhaps the idea that you would fall for ever is what impaired those who were smashed to the ground, having not been prepared for landing at all. Pondering over this conclusion, I gingerly picked myself up and attempted to make myself aware of my surroundings.

A whimpering caught my attention. It visibly startled me and I spun around, my heart in my mouth, only to have it break a little the next second. A boy lay curled up in the corner of what I had figured out was a cell. A smaller cell than the ones we slept in, and significantly murkier. This boy didn't even notice me, as he continued to cry into his arms, whispering something in a language I never learned to properly understand.

I might have stopped to help, but I remembered Nikita's suspicion that a camera lurked in every cell. I realised I needed to keep moving if I didn't want to be caught. Believing that perhaps it was inevitable, I still knew that I had to try, and managed to force myself through the tiny gap between the bars. Instead of worrying about how thin I was becoming, I took off at a silent run down the tunnel filled with grime, the cries of boys who had lost all hope following me as I hastily tried to find a way back to the place I was before. Had Tyson ever seen this? I wondered. Had _anybody_ ever set eyes on this sickening display other than me?

Something to my left physically stopped me in my tracks and my feet almost slipped out from under me on the slimy moss which coated the stone floor. I turned to see exactly what I had suspected, but preyed I had been mistaken. Behind the foreboding, rusty bars a frightfully thin child with bulging eyes was poking a finger into the shoulder of a boy who was all too familiar to me. He was the boy I had originally defeated, and he was dead. No more than a few days it had been, and he was already sprawled on the ground, completely immobile and more pallid than I believed possible.

The boy who had been poking him stared up at me and began to yell. The scene before me frightened me to no end, and I slowly backed away before hitting something. The contact made my heart stop for a second and my hand flew to my mouth to stop me from screaming. It was too warm to be the wall; it was a guard.

'How did you get down here' it was more of a statement than a question, and I was so shaken I found myself unable to answer. His militant voice had quelled the yelling from inside the cell. He violently turned me around to face him, and from the look on my face must have assumed I stumbled down there by accident. Considering how many different tunnels and passages there were, I'm surprised I had never wandered down there before then.

Quite unable to believe my luck, I found myself being roughly escorted down the remainder of the tunnel, focusing only on the wall and making a conscious effort not to look to my left. We attracted a lot of attention, and the screams of desperation and pleas for help were almost unbearable. I was relieved when the guard unlocked the door at the very end and we were once again ascending the shadowed stairs.

That guard had left me back in the arena where I started off, and several students were now filing in to join me. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and wished I had never been so stupid as to venture down the chute. If I had been dreading stepping up for every battle before, now that I knew where those defeated ended up, I was nothing short of petrified. I couldn't bear to watch another opponent fall into oblivion, only to land seconds later and be trapped for god knows how long. But what plagued me most was the thought of being stuck down there myself. I had escaped through the bars the last time, but my getting caught proved that there were eyes everywhere in this building. Not only that, but escaping again would prove futile, seeing as the only door leading to higher ground was locked at all times with a number combination.

Despite the trauma, I was forced by my voice of reason to take my steps towards the dish and face my next, and final, opponent. This one filled me with nerves at the sight of him; unlike most of the other opponents I'd faced, he looked strong. I'd doubted my abilities from the moment I laid eyes on him, and yet my doubtful estimation was proven incorrect when about ten minutes later I found I had defeated him. It was the longest beyblade battle of my life, and though I had witnessed far longer ones in the past, ten minutes can seem an eternity when another day of living is on the line.

Suddenly, the boy before me didn't look so strong anymore. His face became ashen and a sickly yellow colour, and he began to murmur in Russian under his breath. So many other opponents had gone this way. I knew the routine so well it plagued me. Any second now the floor would open up again, this strong boy who might have had such a promising future ahead of him would be doomed to the fate of the cells below. Just like the rest of them…

My better judgement had no time to stop me. The guard behind me proclaimed 'victory' in a robotic voice, and I took off. In an instant I was on the other end of the dish, frantically pulling my opponent from the opening to the chute. It was a great offence to leave your spot at the arena, and punishable by any means, but I didn't care. He tried to remain where he was, but only a mere second before the floor opened up, I had dragged him to safety. By this time we had both been seized by several of the guards, who couldn't care less about how brutal they were in their actions.

He was roughly jerked away from me, and finally I found the obstinate voice I thought I'd lost long ago; the voice that spoke out without much thought, the voice that knew what was right and wrong, and the voice which had temporarily been dormant. 'Leave him alone!' I cried out hoarsely, desperately flailing to get out of the firm grip I was being held in.

They began to drag the boy away. Causing a terrible scene and being humiliated in front of every other student, he said nothing. He allowed himself to be pulled away, head hanging and strong arms falling limply at his sides. I wouldn't let anything go 'Where are you taking him?! You can't keep doing this, he doesn't deser-!'

Before I could finish my outburst, my speech was impaired with a forceful blow to the solar plexus. I doubled over with the pain, feeling the blood rush to my head and the tears form in the corners of my eyes. I tried to keep them back and regain my strength. I waited for somebody to speak out for me; of course, nobody did.

The pain didn't end there. I was forced from the room so as not to cause any more trouble, escorted by four guards who all had a firm grip on my arms. I was still doubled over and so my arms hang above my head as I dragged my feet behind me. I must have looked a pitiful sight. I was taken into another room and the door was slammed behind me. When the guards let me go, I bent forwards and rested my hands on my knees, waiting for the inevitable punishment to begin.

I had been lucky with the guard earlier on; this time nobody held back. I was met by four different fists and boots in some of the most painful places imaginable. By the time they stood back a little I was seeing red. They'd reduced me to a withering figure, curled up on the ice cold floor, wallowing in their own blood. The first blow was still causing me pain, I was sure my nose was broken, my lip had been split and my eye was bruised to the point I could barely open it. When they backed off I didn't move, partly from pain and fear, mainly because I knew there was more to come. I was roughly picked up and literally thrown against the wall as though I were light as a small animal. A poor and defenceless animal. I winced at the contact and slid to the floor, but still I didn't cry; perhaps my tear ducts were impaired from the bruising.

'The Leader is on his way,' the burly guard nearest to me stated. 'He has his own ways of dealing with people like you'. They didn't leave me alone, but they stood well back in all four corners of the square room. But for those few seconds in limbo, instead of being relieved at the end of the torment, I was shaking with terror at what would come next. The dreadful aspect was not knowing. This was the way the abbey controlled it's students, worked their way into their minds; they scared them with the concept of the unknown. The vulnerability was almost painful in itself.

I heard the footsteps before I thought to raise my head and open up my eyes. I heard the door being unlocked and pushed open, and the rustle of clothing as the guards bowed their heads respectively to the man who had just entered. The leader said nothing but I heard his boots grow louder as they walked the concrete floor towards where I lay still.

'Do with him what you please,' the guard instructed as the Leader paused somewhere nearby. I still didn't move, or make any conscious effort to. I couldn't find a single body part on my person that wasn't aching or stinging. Quite aware that every breath could be one of my last, I just waited for the punishment I knew was coming.

'Stand and face our Leader, boy!' another guard spat, and roughly hoisted me to my feet. Finally able to find the strength to lift my head, I opened my eyes and looked up in the direction of the man about to punish me; the great mystery who had never before been seen by a student who managed to tell the tale. Still hanging limply against the stiff arms of the guard holding me up, my eyes focussed and I took a defining glance at our Leader.

For the second time that day, my heart stopped. An involuntary shiver ran through me and my tired mouth fell open. Nothing could have prepared me for the surprise I had ahead; the very last person I'd have expected to see. For a couple of seconds, I even doubted my own sight; feared I was delusional or even worse, about to die. Similar bizarre ideas flooded my mind and I simply couldn't accept that it were real. Surely, it was not possible…

For a few moments silence reigned, and I gaped stupidly up at him. Gazing through eyes that had lately seen real terror, blinking through the red of my own blood, I found myself undoubtedly looking into the cold and familiar face of my old friend, Kai Hiwatari.

* * *

(A/N): Okay, so, that was predictable! :P Angel Sakura x you were right about your assumption, and I guess most other people would have guessed it aswell! :D

Right, this was a defining chapter; a turning point in the story (one of many, mind you). From here onwards, the fic is officially more interesting!! –celebrates- Yay!

When am I updating, you ask? Well, it will have to be in September seeing as I'll be in England from next week onwards (XD!XD!XD!XD!!) and so won't have much of a chance to update. However, guess what! On the plane, I'm taking with me a notebook and a pencil. I'm going to spend my ten hour flight back home trying to write the next chapter, isn't that cool? If not, well I'll probably end up writing something worthwhile anyway…

One more thing, can someone please explain to me how to respond to reviews? :S Because I'm an idiot and can't seem to figure it out...heheh...

I can't thank you enough for all the support I get even though I'm convinced my writing is getting worse :P Please do keep reviewing, and be sure to check out my AU _A Golden Age_, which will be uploaded in about a week's time! That's my new project and I'm very excited about it, but I'll need some reviews of course :D.

So until next time, I love you all and I will be back, just hang tight and enjoy yourselves until September :D


	8. Chapter 8

(A/N): Salut, good people! I know it's been a couple of months roughly since my last update on this story, but I have good reason for that; I was busy having the time of my _life_! But now I am back and school has picked up, and so I can get back on track with this…

Okay in the last week or so something has come to my attention. In the last couple of chapters, Hilary has been going on an awful lot about these chutes beside the beyblade dishes where the defeated bladers fall through. I mean, I'm sure this hasn't concerned anybody in the slightest, but I only recently realised that the scene where we see kids falling through dark chutes in the abbey was actually CUT. Yeah, it was a cut scene in the English version, so some of you may not have even seen it. What I also realised is that there's a clip which shows the kids hanging over snakes :P I didn't remember that scene before, and because it's just such a great opportunity I've attempted to throw it into this chapter a little, but in a different way. It's funny, I always thought people overdid it with Balcov Abbey horror stories, but I suppose I've been down-playing it a little. Besides, this story basically works with contrast, so I think I need a little more…You'll see what I mean when we get further in :).

WARNING: This is quite a strange chapter, the beginning mainly consists of description and the middle gets very bizarre. It's all fitting though, I'll explain at the end of the chapter. I hope it doesn't confuse anybody.

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade or any of the characters, except for Nikita.

* * *

Years of strained amity hit me at that moment where I looked up into his face. His eyes reflected all the years he'd looked at me with a hidden respect, and now he stared down at me as though I were less than dirt. Times of victory, and honourable defeat seemed forgotten to him, but in my mind they were resurfacing. In that moment, it was so easy to forget that we were actually friends not long ago, and yet the concept stuck to me like glue. This icy glare had never seemed so impassive; this aura had never been so cold.

Whether it was fear or chills, I found myself uncontrollably shaking. I gazed through the eye I could still see with at the potent man before me, suddenly self-conscious of my wan and skeletal appearance. Despite this, I was astounded and slightly appalled that he hadn't yet recognised me. The perceptive and astute Kai I'd felt I once knew was always so quick to pick up on the small things; to observe all that surrounded him. I half hoped that he would know me by first sight, but my diminutive hope was proven mistaken when he continued to peer down past his nose at me, as though it were the greatest mortal sin to speak out against his rule.

My vision began to blur as he took a couple of steps towards me. An active part of my brain told me that my instinct was to move, but something in me had given up and so I remained quite still, save for the quivering. I could tell he didn't like the fear, but I believe he too was fighting his sub-conscience when he continued on towards me. The guards surrounding had begun talking again, bowing with almost every word and faltering with each little movement Kai made. They really looked to him with the utmost respect; the respect he'd always wanted, I suppose.

He stood over me, and I dared to crane my neck to look up at him. Into his eyes I stared with desperation, preying for a break-through that I still believed would come. I could still hear voices, but whether in Russian or not I still found I couldn't understand. My ears were beginning to fail me, aswell as everything else. My jaw hung about an inch, giving me a gormless expression while the blood slowly trickled down my chin. The room was swimming in and out of focus, and Tyson's voice was once again protruding through my head. I could make no sense of the words he spoke, but suddenly I missed him terribly. I thought of what he'd say and do, if he could see me at that moment. Something unrecognisable as a human being; starved to the point of being a skeleton, beaten and bruised for doing what I believed was right. Whether it was the pained expression I saw on Tyson's face or the image I could see of myself, I was barely aware of the tears on my face until it was far too late to stop them.

That was a mistake anybody else would have regretted. In a split second, though I could only see things in slow motion, Kai had advanced and struck me hard across the face. I was flung back by the force and lay pathetically against the wall. The thought was too much for me to bear. The stone-cold glare he directed at me showed no sign of recognition, and yet it seemed no different to the Kai I knew two years ago striking out at me. With no ability to stop myself this time, even if I had wanted to, I began to cry like a little girl. At that point I really did feel like a little girl; a small child who's suddenly realised that everything has turned against her and there's so little she can do.

I had no thoughts on what would happen afterwards, I didn't even consider the possibility I wouldn't make it out alive. The decision to no longer keep up this charade I'd quite forgotten I was playing didn't even need to be made. It was made for me by a small part of my instinct finally kicking into gear, when I saw him advancing towards me again.

His eyebrows knotted themselves together in a frown as he lifted his hand to strike me a second time. For a split second only, all feeling returned to me. My face still stung from the previous hit, everything else was merely a dull ache. My surroundings became sharper as my eyes opened up wider, his eyes glaring into mine as he went for the second hit, harder this time.

He began to falter only an instant before I found the strength to react. I could see it in his eyes; he'd realised I was no stranger to him.

'Kai!'

I'd wailed his name out of sheer fright, now cowering beneath him with less strength than I'd had before, forgetting to even change my voice. But it was his alteration that was astounding. Suddenly, he didn't look so daunting anymore; on the contrary, he almost seemed to physically shrink. His facial expression gave me relief and made me smile on the inside. It looked as though he couldn't quite believe what he had done. He knew who I was by then, and seeing him standing there before me in horror made me realise that I knew him too. His eyes no longer held malice amongst a stony countenance. His breath became heavy and I thought I caught him tremble aswell, moving his lips several times as though trying to decide whether or not to speak, arm slowly falling back down to his side.

Still gazing down at me, distraught, he cleared his throat and stammered something to the guards surrounding him. When they faltered, he blinked sharply and snapped at them in Russian until they left us alone. I was barely aware of their departing, but suddenly I could feel myself being lifted from the cold stone floor. My feet barely held me up, but I must have appeared strong enough, for Kai didn't feel the need to lift me completely, simply to hold my arm as we too left the room.

It felt as though I hadn't been back in the abbey for hours, and all that time I'd been locked up in some sort of alternate universe where time speeds up and when you leave it feels as though it was something you were waiting for all along. The very thought of staying in that abbey for another minute was almost unimaginable, despite the fact that I would have done had I not spoken out of turn. At the time, it almost felt as though I was _waiting_ for somebody to show up and take me away.

The maze of underground passages I thought I had grown used to only seemed longer when it was time for me to go. I asked no questions and he, in turn, said nothing. I simply followed him and he kept a firm grip to ensure I didn't collapse. I could still feel a dull ache but it was beginning to die down; in fact, most of my senses seemed to be impairing themselves. I found after a few minutes that I could no longer feel my legs or the arm that Kai was holding, but only if I really thought about it did I begin to lose balance.

'…and you will be alright' I faintly heard Kai mumble, and wondered if he'd been talking to me the entire time.

I suddenly realised we were approaching the training facilities. At once, before my eyes I saw the faces of a thousand boys as they fell, the way their eyes grew wide and their skin paled. I remembered the boy laying still in the cell below, the boy poking at him and shrieking at me. Suddenly these images were clear as day, clearer than the real world I could barely see through my blurred vision and the blood that had dried on my eyelashes. They were right in front of me.

I could feel my pulse increasing. The tunnel was beginning to spin and I had difficulty walking straight with all the motion. From the sounds of metal collisions I assumed the dishes I had been dragged from not long ago were nearby. But thinking about that only made me sick. As I stumbled to my escape there were boys who would never see theirs. It wasn't right.

As we approached, the room seemed darker than I remembered. I could make out faint objects hanging from the ceiling which barely caught the light. Leaning forward to get a closer look, my heart was in my mouth.

One of them moved.

After seeing movement in one of them, I realised most of them were moving. They swung on their own, kicking out from side to side. With a pained strangling noise, I realised what was happening in there. It wasn't the beyblade training room after all, and these hanging things weren't objects. They were boys.

'Those who didn't obey were subject to torture!' Tyson's voice shouted out of nowhere.

I thought I could feel Kai's hands gently pulling at my arm, but I was struck dumb at the scene played out before me. Through the open door and above our heads, small boys and young men were hanging. Nobody around would let them down though they were struggling, nobody would hear the screams that were beginning to penetrate my skull. Along with a strange hissing noise which suddenly caught my attention. I broke free of Kai's grip and doubled back a little. Upon reaching the open door, I instantly regretted it. Placed below the figures hanging from the ceiling, hissing and writhing, were at least three dozen…

'snakes…!'

I tried to yell but it barely came out as a hoarse croak of a whisper. The overriding urge to scream and run washed over me, but I found myself unable to do either. Paralysed by fright, I tried to stagger backwards, and only felt myself fall into something significantly softer than the stone floor, before my vision was impaired completely and all my senses were lost, plunging me completely into blackness.

* * *

'…_Things are about to change, and it's not for the better. Sometimes it seems like I alone can see the damage…since you left us…'_

* * *

'Tyson…?' I mumbled sleepily, before realising I was talking to thin air.

It took me a few minutes to figure it out completely, but I found myself lying quite peacefully on a large, wooden four-poster bed. The walls surrounding me were decorated with intricate patterns of red and gold, antique as the furniture and yet timeless in their beauty. To my left were giant mahogany doors, and to my right was a window, lined with the same deep wood as the door, stretching from the floor to the high ceiling. The wall opposite me held a huge mirror, below which was a dressing table, again of mahogany. In a state of awe, I concluded that this was the most beautiful room I had ever been in. The old-fashioned décor of Russia was so different to the sort of thing you'd find in Japan.

'Ughhh!' In an attempt to get a closer look, I had conveniently forgotten all the wounds on my body, which decided to make themselves known at that very moment. I fell back onto the bed, gritting my teeth and squeezing my eyes shut to try not to cry out. Now that reality had decided to make a timely appearance, questions I hadn't had before flooded my mind. I had no idea where I was, nor how I came to be there. I had to find out what became of those boys in that snake pit, and I had about a thousand burning questions for my so-called Leader.

I fell back against the pillow again and allowed myself some time for much-needed thinking. Tyson had been on to something all along. I heard his voice with every beybattle in that abbey, speaking clearest when he told me it was only the first time somebody had betrayed us. I should have guessed it from the beginning; it was suddenly all so clear to me. There was more to their past with Kai than I knew, and I had found myself launched into the middle of it. I gingerly rubbed one of my eyes and wondered why I'd never taken anything Tyson said seriously. I may have thought it was some silly story, but it gave me no reason to not listen.

Though at that time there were still several gaps which needed to be filled, my thoughts were interrupted when a knock sounded at the door.

'C-come in?' I called out timidly. A middle-aged woman stepped through the door and began to make her way towards me.

'You look much better,' she observed. 'A good-night's sleep really did you good'.

I offered her a weak smile as she busied herself in the massive wardrobe I had not noticed before that moment. She pulled out a dress of plain white which looked as though it were simply kept as a spare, but I noted it was probably more expensive than all of my clothes put together. Laying it out across the bed, she looked at me and said 'The Master expects you to join him for dinner in half an hour. I shall wait outside and escort you when you are ready' before turning her back and leaving through the mahogany doors.

As soon as she left the room, with great difficulty I slid from the bed to the carpeted floor and stumbled towards the mirror. The first time I had seen myself since the night I'd chopped off most of my hair at Nikita's. Now I stood before my reflection, apparently improved from the day before, which only made me more depressed. My right eye was atrocious and my nose most definitely broken. The blood had been cleaned up, but still a deep gash spread from below my nose, across my lips. My right cheek sported a bruise of deep purple which still stung a little when it came to my attention. That one was Kai's bruise. Looking at this and knowing it was my reflection, I saw a single tear run down over the purple skin of my cheek. If I were to ever see Kai, or any of them again, I wouldn't have wanted to look the way I did then.

Doing my best to overcome the difficulties, I had thrown on the dress and powdered my face. It barely covered the bruise but it made me feel better none the less. With no way of telling what time it was, I gingerly opened the door to find the woman sitting in a chair in the corridor, waiting for me as she said she would. She smiled warmly at me again, took my arm and led me down to the dining hall.

Kai was already sat in the chair to the right of the head of the table, staring intently at the table in concentration, not moving a muscle until he realised he was no longer alone. When he heard us enter the room, he rose quickly and pulled out the chair opposite him for me to sit down in. I could feel his eyes on me, but suddenly I found myself completely unable to look at him. I bit the good side of my lower lip as I felt my throat closing up. Seeing him only made me remember. The way all those deserving boys were being treated, the way I had been treated before now, where I sat in a white gown in a palace of a home. There was something wrong.

'Are you alright?' At the sound of his voice, I quivered slightly. It was the concern that did it; he was beginning to sound the way he used to. The Kai I once knew went to great lengths to protect the things and people he cared for.

I gulped by way of an answer, and finally looked at him. 'I…I owe you an explanation,' I said softly. He remained silent and so I began. I told him the entire story, from me leaving my family behind in order to prove myself, right up to that very moment I found myself sitting at a dining table opposite him. When I had finished, the questions began burning again, but I managed to contain myself and ask things one at a time. 'And you…you're the Leader of the abbey, aren't you?'

He nodded solemnly, 'Yes. The abbey was handed over to me four years ago after my grandfather was through with it. He had used the facilities for a business cooperation, and when it was abandoned it was left in my name. It wasn't until two years later that I decided to return to Russia and run it. I,' he paused in thought 'I…needed it'.

'Those two years I knew you…?'

'It was still mine'.

'And since you left us, you've been here?'

'That's correct'.

I gulped and looked up at him pleadingly. 'Injuries like mine are not uncommon there, you know'.

He broke eye-contact then and stared down at his plate. It looked to me as though he knew it very well, but whether or not he was capable of changing anything was still unknown to me. 'I'm sorry for striking out at you, Hilary'.

My breathing became heavy as I tried not to blurt out everything I was thinking in one breath. 'It's easy to say that to me, Kai, but what about the others? The awful things I've seen in the past few weeks, I swear I have never been more terrified. Forced to sleep in cells and never allowed to see the light of day…' my eyes widened as I remembered the last thing I'd seen before collapsing. 'And-and the snakes!'

He'd remained surprisingly impassive through my small outburst, but as I finished my exclamation his eyes narrowed slightly. 'We have no snakes in the abbey,' he told me firmly.

'But I saw them…' I suddenly felt rather stupid, especially as the image of the snakes was beginning to fade the more I mentioned it.

Despite my foolishness, Kai continued to be as patient as possible. 'I walked you out of the control room, down the tunnel and past the training facility. It was outside the open door that you collapsed'.

I felt my cheeks beginning to go red. '…No snakes?'

'My grandfather had installed several torture chambers for students who were disobedient,' Kai explained through gritted teeth. 'One of these did consist of a snake pit. No sooner had I arrived in Moscow to take control of the abbey did I ensure none of these rooms remained. I had them all rebuilt, providing better facilities and more of them. The snakes were a figment of your imagination'.

'Oh…' I couldn't find much else to say in response, and so we ate much of the meal in silence.

When dinner was over, he walked to my side should I need help rising from my chair. I stayed put, keeping my eyes on the table and my hands in my lap. After a few minutes, he must have realised I wasn't about to get up, and made to leave.

'You're going to stay with me,' he dictated as he passed me. 'I suggest you stay in bed for a few days while the nurse takes care of you-'

He was about to say something more, but I suddenly reached out and grabbed his arm. He turned back and I looked up at him pleadingly. 'Please, don't leave me alone…'

I connected with his red eyes again, and felt a small tinge of sorrow flicker across them. With the softest smile and a small nod, he took my hand and lifted me from the chair. He made a promise to me that he would look after me. I was to accompany him every day in order to help him run the abbey. Though the prospect of even seeing that building again was enough to make me dizzy, it was that building and my short time spent as a student within it that made me completely dependant. It was a long time before I could be safely left alone again. Having Nikita there for me before had made me feel like I had somebody to rely on, and the sad truth was that I needed Kai there with me at all times. I had set out on a journey to Moscow to increase my independence, and managed to become so dependant I would rather go back to the abbey every morning with Kai, than stay in a palace on my own.

* * *

(A/N): I apologise if this chapter isn't quite up to par (I know I say this every time); school's only just begun for me and it's been a while since I wrote anything at all. I read the sections I'd attempted to write on the plane (remember, like I said in the last chapter?) and cringed at how awful they were.

…not to mention while writing this chapter I was listening to Britney Spears, _Radar_. That tune is certainly not the best for inspiring creative writing :P. Not of this sort, anyway.

So yes, this bizarre chapter. Basically, I decided that although Hilary is telling this story from a position of greater stability, at the time she was suffering greatly from malnutrition and loss of blood, making her slightly deranged. To be honest, it was sort of an experiment, I certainly won't make a habit of writing like this. But it fits well so I decided to stick with it and not re-write it like I originally thought of doing.

Please R&R :)


	9. Chapter 9

(A/N): We are getting so close to the intermission now! Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up by next weekend, and then the story's going on hiatus for a little while. Once chapter 10's up, we're officially half way through!

Err…I don't like this chapter much, but how is that different to any other chapter, really? :P

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade or any of the characters, except for Nikita.

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The next morning I sat beside Kai in the passenger seat, half welcoming the silence and half wishing it were being filled. I'd been gently awoken rather early to find a smart grey suit laid out for me at the end of the bed, complete with matching knee-length skirt, jacket and shoes. Kai now drove beside me, eyes fixed on the road, clearly in deep thought as I'd always known him to be. Still rather self-conscious of my less-than-presentable appearance, I opted not to look at him and stare out the windows. Much to my relief, they were tinted so nobody had the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the driver of the black limozine the Leader drove. It always remained a mystery to me why Kai had a limo in the first place if he always insisted on driving it himself, but I didn't voice my consideration at that moment. I concluded the silence was a sweeter sound than my own voice.

Stepping out into the real world for the first time since entering the solid oak doors of the abbey, I realised I must have forgotten how bright the sun could really be. The snow had melted in my absence, and it almost seemed as though I were in a different country. After recovering from what I believed had caused me some retina damage, I was struck dumb by my surroundings.

I realised that never once had my imagination been exaggerating; Kai's cosy abode really _was_ a palace. It was two stories high, yet each floor stood higher than my entire house. Looking from side to side, I concluded its perimeter must be half a kilometre. I made a mental note to explore it further at some point during my stay, which I believed to be temporary at the time, and slowly made my way down the large marble steps. Kai had already been waiting for me, I could see him through the open door on the passenger side, fumbling through what I assumed to be important documents of some sort. The limo was situated in the centre of the front courtyard; a courtyard so large it could probably fit another palace over it. I'd slipped into the seat with only minor difficulty, we politely greeted eachother, and drove off through the high, black gate.

Knowing exactly where this little drive was taking me, I found myself unable to even appreciate the sight of the other beautiful Russian buildings. The very same I'd been to enthralled with the day I had arrived in the country, and now I could barely look at them. The place I was heading towards looked nothing like them; the filthy, grey stone walls were by no means beautiful, even in their own twisted way like I had originally thought. Nothing about that horrific edifice could ever appeal to me again.

When we reached the buzzing square, I sharply turned my gaze down to look at my lap, making sure to keep my eyes from drifting back to the tinted window. I knew we were nearby now; I could remember the walk I had taken the day I had arrived, the café I had sat in while trying to read a paper I couldn't understand, listening to the happy crowds and avidly pondering over my promising new experiences. Such a turn I had taken.

Before my mind could collect itself, I heard my friend clear his throat beside me and realised we were no longer moving. Taking a deep breath and allowing my eyes to drift closed for a moment, I unbuckled the seatbelt and made to open the door. Kai, who had been patiently waiting for me, walked around to my side and helped me to my feet.

My pulse increased a little as I finally found the courage to take my eyes from the floor. Even the very sight of it seemed to make the wounds throb again, as though every bruise were being beaten and every slit re-opened. A voice in the back of my head scolded me for deliberately damaging myself, not allowing enough time to heal, strolling back into the hell I'd only recently escaped from, playing pretend that I could handle it and everything would be alright.

But I knew deep down I was pretending nothing. I could barely bring myself to even take a step across the courtyard, and had Kai not been beside me I might have turned and ran. Though it looked somewhat smaller than I remembered it, knowing exactly what sickening possibilities I could face once on the inside of those grimy walls terrified me to no end. But remembering my pleas for Kai to take me with him, the thought of being left on my own again so quickly, I didn't voice my discomfort and hobbled in silence towards the doors I had always been afraid of entering.

I learned that day that the abbey was at least twice the size I had originally thought it was; half of the narrow underground tunnels and control rooms only to be used by the guards who worked there, and some rooms, corridors and whole stair-cases reserved for Kai only. He intentionally led me down corridors where we wouldn't be seen by students, and I realised we were heading for the observation room above the enormous battle room. I gulped and preyed we wouldn't be remaining in there for long.

While standing at the tinted box window, I began to feel sick knowing how familiar this situation was; except this time, I was looking at it from another point of view. It seemed strange that I was watching them from the observation box, I couldn't imagine what they'd say if they knew I was up there. I wondered if Kai had ever watched me battle, noticed my victories and watched the fear in my opponents' faces.

I turned my face a little to look at him, standing right beside me, watching intently as his students attempted in a panic to obliterate eachother. Nothing about the situation sat right with me. Kai had dragged me from what could have caused my death, saved me from a life of torment, but only a moment before that he'd struck out at me for showing him fear, and his guards had beaten me for voicing another boy's rights. And at the dinner table, he really had looked truly sorry, but now he was back again, staring intently at the battle dishes. No losses yet, but it wouldn't be long. And Kai would allow it to happen, as before. I realised I would need to get a reason out of him, whether or not it made me seem a nuisance. My inborn conscience nagged at me to demand a response from him, talk away at him the way I used to, until he became to sick of my plaguing he'd allow it to sink in.

Remembering I was no longer the irritating fourteen-year old girl I used to be, I opted instead to calmly ask some of the questions that had been pestering me. However, no sooner had I opened my mouth to form the first word, both of our attention was caught by the voice of a guard. Kai's hearing was sharp, but unbeknownst to me, I had been secretly waiting for it.

'Victory'.

I looked wildly around the large room for a little while, before sighting the guard, standing with one arm in the air in a strained form of false celebration. The boy beside him staggered a little but was unrecognisable to me as I could only see the back of him. Opposite him, however, was a familiar face, a hundred times more pallid than I had ever seen it. Nikita was waiting for the drop.

I screamed, visibly startling Kai and making him jump. 'Nikita!' I shrieked, banging my fist against the glass and feeling the tears forming in my eyes.

'Hilar-?!'

'Kai, please!' I fell to my knees, ignoring the searing pain it caused me, and began to shake violently. 'Please, Kai, please stop it! Don't let him fall, Kai, please! Don't let him fall!'

Reacting quickly, Kai swiftly reached the other end of the box room, and I heard the sound of a heavy and un-oiled metal switch being pulled. I didn't move. Kai was speaking, and I assumed he was informing the guard beside Nikita that the chute mechanism had broken, or a similar tall story.

'Nyet,' he said calmly into a mouthpiece, 'Release the students early and have them begin their drills'.

I was still on my knees, the way he'd left me. I felt him hoist me to my feet, but still I didn't face him. I stared through the glass at the boys filing out through the large doors, no doubt Nikita was unable to believe his luck. I felt it was the very least I could do, for all the help he'd given me, whether or not he realised how helpful he really had been.

'I'm taking you home,' Kai said softly, regret evident in his voice.

I spun around to face him and my lip quivered of it's own accord. 'I…don't want to be left by myself…'

'You won't be,' he looked at me sincerely, and at that moment I saw it in his eyes again. He was going to ensure I was kept safe. He was letting me know without words, that he would be there for me. 'I'm going back with you'.

I gulped and nodded, gingerly following him until we were once again outside. All the way home neither of us said a word. He was thoughtful again, clearly punishing himself for allowing me to accompany him. Having seen me fall before him, pleading desperately a second time, he regretted seeing me in such a state. If I had known Kai at all, I knew he'd probably never forgive himself for what I'd been reduced to.

I allowed him to help me out of the limo, and escort me up the steps. I allowed myself to be led into one of the grandest living rooms I had ever seen, and sat down gently in a comfortable arm chair. I gulped down my antagonism and tilted my head to look towards the door as I saw him seat himself opposite me. He wasn't about to leave me alone, not now. I gritted my teeth, unable to hold off on speaking out any longer.

'What makes you think,' I could see him watching my out of the corner of my eye, but I continued to look elsewhere, 'that you have the right to treat people this way? Why do you see fit to _torment_ these boys, and have them worship you like some sort of icon?'

He said nothing, so I continued. By now all my fear over the past two weeks, all the terror and anguish I had experienced was resurfacing as anger. Forgetting my previous resolution to confront him calmly, I began to blurt out whatever entered my mind without so much as a thought. 'I was told about your abbey in the form of what I believed to be a horror story. But it wasn't, was it, Kai? It was real, it was _very_ real for those who had seen it, and while I was there I realised that nothing has changed at all since those stories were told to me! I never imagined that you, of all people, would continue with something you were so against before!'

Kai had evidently had enough. Somewhere in my outburst I had found the will to look him in the face, and saw his glare suddenly sharpen. 'I am _not_ my grandfather!' he snarled at me. Admittedly, I was a little taken-aback at the tone he'd used. In my silence, he took a calming breath and carried on. 'You didn't see it for what it was before, you have no knowledge of how I improved it'.

'Kai, people are _dying_ in there!'

He turned away sharply, as though it were suddenly too painful to meet my eyes. A tense silence hung in the air for a few seconds, before he audibly sighed and muttered 'I know'.

It was so quiet I thought I had imagined it for a moment, until he spoke again, only slightly clearer this time. 'My objective was never to have death on my hands, Hilary. I try my hardest to prevent the situation whenever possible, but some of them reach the point where they can't be helped'.

'Giving them better living conditions might keep a few more of them alive!' I spat.

'I can't,' he said regretfully. 'I can't do that, they have to be prepared'.

'For _what_, Kai? Prepared for _what_?'

I could tell instantly that I was getting somewhere. He met my eyes again, connected with my desperate expression, and I saw that flicker of sorrow again. The very least he owed me was an explanation, and he knew it.

He rose from the sofa and slowly made his way towards the window, massaging his temple all the while. I watched him, but remained seated, and waited with limited patience for his response. I remember the moment as though it happened recently. So eager and impatient to learn of the life-altering reason; how I wished later on that I didn't know of it. What a difference to me. The beginning of the calm, the acquaintance of the storm which inevitably follows.

After what seemed an age, he brought himself to tell me.

'Asia is entering into war,' he said to the enormous window pane before him, 'and Russia has been dragged into it aswell. All across the continent armies are being recruited, and soon the battles will begin. Total war is imminent; most of the countries are already in the stage. But Russia's army is small and inadequate, the country is in dire need of soldiers to fight or conscription will be forced upon the country. Two years ago, I was informed of this possibility. So I left my home and returned to Russia, refurnished the abbey and rehired it's staff. My goal was to gather a large group of young men, train them to fight and survive in combat conditions, teach them loyalty and the importance of victory. I spent two years preparing students to fight for the country, under the impression they were being taught a sport'.

'W-we're at war?' my voice had softened significantly and become slightly shaky. And for the first time since the day I'd set out with Nikita for the abbey, an image played itself in my mind which I'd almost completely forgotten about over the past few weeks. I took myself back to a time not long ago at all, but seemed like another lifespan altogether. The suddenly fitting image of a boy older than myself, broken down into tears opposite me on the train, for a reason unimaginable to me…until that moment.

'Does the country know about the upcoming war?'

Kai continued to look out the window as he answered. 'Most of the involved countries do, but the citizens of Russia have been left in the dark. It's as though the government's too afraid to accept what's happening' and he seemed to resent it greatly. 'But seeing as there's barely any training camps, young men from our ally countries like Japan and Indonesia are asking for acceptance into the abbey aswell. They'd prefer to live and train in an atmosphere where war is still unknown, rather than where people and companies are already preparing for it. We don't just let them show up; they need to write to us and if they hear back, their names are put on a list and they're welcome to train, so long as they swear to not mention the war to the Russian students'.

I listened very intently, trying my hardest to take everything in, and considering every detail of information being told to me. I couldn't understand why, if all the other Asian countries had been preparing for this time for quite a while, nobody I knew had heard anything about it.

But as soon as that thought processed, I realised I was wrong. My jaw dropped slightly as I remembered the mystery which began my story. The folded piece of paper in his pocket, laid out neatly beside his bed when I'd said goodbye to him. The letter my brother had received in September, the letter which finalised his decision to take a trip to Moscow, which had seemed so sudden and bizarre up until that very moment. It was as though suddenly everything was being unravelled in front of me.

'My brother,' I whispered hoarsely, 'he was supposed to be in the abbey, not me. He had that letter, he planned his trip. And…his name was on their list when I pretended it was mine…'

Kai made a thoughtful humming noise in response but said nothing. I found myself utterly dumbstruck at everything I had just learned. In the last few minutes I'd been given so much information to process it seemed my brain would explode. I felt the blood drain from my cheeks as he finally managed to glance down at me. We stayed that way for a while, looking at eachother, surrounded by foreboding that was soon to become all too real.

Eventually I spoke, my voice croaky with the lack of use in the last few minutes. 'So there really is something more to the training. You're going to coerce them into the armed forces'.

But Kai was shaking his head. 'No, we don't force them. The training we put them through makes most of them _want_ to join up, and use their skills and strength for armed combat. It doesn't work with everyone, and we don't compel the ones who don't wish to go'.

'You only brainwash them, then?'

'Not…exactly…'

There was another small uncomfortable silence, but I ended it quickly by clearing my throat. I had been right all along about the abbey being more than simply a beyblading school; how stupid it seemed that those boys would walk in simply to beyblade, and walk out a warrior and ready to fight for their country. I resented the dishonesty of the establishment, but knew very well why they had to be lied to. I understood, but still disagreed. Yet I almost accepted that perhaps the idea was essential, so as to avoid the disaster of conscription.

'And I suppose it's entirely necessary to treat them the way they're being treated?' I asked in a soft voice, my anger long forgotten and quite overpowered by shock.

'Hilary, I don't enjoy watching people suffer,' he began to make his way towards me, perching himself on the edge of the mahogany coffee table. I'm not sure what it was, but something about the way he spoke to me made it clear that he was telling the truth. Combined with my determination to believe he was the same person I was once good friends with, I have to say I believed him. 'But these conditions are nothing compared to those they will face in the battlefields, or as prisoners of war, as some of them may well end up. They'll be grateful to know it's a condition they're accustomed to'.

'But it's so wrong to be accustomed to that kind of condition…' I trailed off in despair, knowing that we both agreed, knowing that my argument would not fall on deaf ears, but knowing it would still make no difference.

He sighed and looked away again, letting it show in his face that he was ashamed of himself. Perhaps that little battle had plagued him for a while now; perhaps he had always hated himself for what he had to do. But Kai never was one to let his feelings stand in the way of what had to be done. And I realised that if war was approaching as quickly as Kai was predicting, those boys would leave the abbey soon, either to march out to fight or to return home. I also realised that in order to keep Kai from losing his mind, I would need to pull myself together, and perhaps help him properly to run the abbey; attempt to change what I dare, and grit my teeth with everything else.

I still didn't agree, but he was right; there was worse yet to come.

* * *

(A/N): …I'm not even going to bother apologizing for the poor writing quality this time :P

You know it's a StZen story when there's a war thrown in :D! Which reminds me, I really need to get going with that little sequel to _Firefly_ I planned…

Okay so, some of you probably still think Kai is unjustified, and I understand that. I'm an honest person, so I'm going to admit something to you. The basic plots of this story were planned before I began writing it, but I hadn't originally intended to make the abbey quite so dreadful as it ended up being. I suppose I may have got a little carried away. That made this chapter a lot more difficult to write, but hopefully Kai's reason sounded at least somewhat plausible.

Sorry if Kai also seemed a little OOC to some people. Yeah he spoke quite a bit in this chapter but if you think about it, Kai does that when he's explaining something he knows about…also, he's older so he could just talk more now :P

And to those of you who are getting impatient…the KaiHil's not developing as slowly as you might think…

Please R&R :)


	10. Chapter 10 Intermission

(A/N): So okay I'm a little overdue with this chapter, I know. But hey, I finally got it done! And earlier than expected too. I thought to myself on Friday 'okay, next weekend chapter 10 of _Do Svidanya_ is getting done!' And then woke up this morning and thought '…meh, might as well do it today' so here it is! XD

And guess what, for the first time since…ever, I think I've written a chapter I actually like! Hah, it's a good feeling :).

Disclaimer: I don't own beyblade or any of the character, except for Nikita.

* * *

The days became shorter and the snow began to fall again. As the months went by, winter was fast falling over Russia. Kai always felt that time had been sped up, and I have to say I knew what he meant. Those times where we were kept in limbo were the worst of all, and I was experiencing the least of it in the luxury of Kai's abode. The countries that were in knowledge of the war were on their toes in anticipation, as was Kai. It pained me sometimes to see what effect this war was having on him, despite the fact it had yet to officially begin. But all the while, Kai paid little attention to my sympathetic advice, and continued to life his last few free months avidly preparing for what we all knew was just around the corner.

The two of us had become a partnership, and as soon as I'd fully recovered from my injuries, I had held my breath and marched back into the place I now had a better understanding of, right by his side at all times. The first few times were the hardest; I had to be driven home again on a couple of occasions and was prone to bursting into tears until the very end. Nothing about it was ever easy for me, but there were still alterations made through Kai's horror at my reactions that made it ever so slightly better.

Upon arriving there the second time, at least a solid two weeks following my collapse in the observation box, I had felt the need to inflict serious tongue-biting on myself to prevent a hundred demands from shooting out of my mouth. Every time I walked in it felt as though I were having a recurring nightmare; every aspect literally identical to how it had last been seen by my eyes. It felt as though not a millisecond had passed between each step out and in through those oak doors. As though everything froze and was left, exactly as it was.

The two of us had sat down together on several occasions, in the abbey and in the palace, to discuss certain things that would need to be changed. It mainly involved a mammoth amount of convincing on my part, though all changes would need to be minor. Kai had made it perfectly clear, and I had it understood, that no major modifications could be inflicted. I had bitterly accepted that the students would need to remain as uncomfortable as possible in order to keep them in preparation. This mainly consisted of trivial alterations like a small increase in food quality on certain days of the week, or a slightly more varied training schedule. I had also successfully quelled Kai's excessive paranoia that the students would make desperate attempts to escape should they be allowed outside on occasion. The morning they stepped out into the light for the first time in god knows how long was one I shall never forget. The revelation was remarkable and painful to watch at the same time. The majority of them refused to leave the building; some of the older students who must have been cooped up between the grimy stone walls for years. And those who did decide to venture outside, even through the fuzz of the monitor screen it was easy to tell they were rather frightened aside from their intrigue. But it was due to this innovation that Kai, who had never before imagined that boys could simply forget how to adapt to natural light, decided to turn the one-time experience into a daily occurrence.

Those months of autumn and winter passed by far too quickly. Before I knew it the air was getting colder, the sun was constantly hidden amidst the looming clouds, and the night fell before the mid-afternoon of each day. Night was growing longer, and we were all being consumed by the dark.

One evening I was seated at the dining table, politely watching my dinner turn cold as I waited for Kai to arrive. About forty five minutes I waited, before becoming seriously concerned. It took me back to all the times in the past where we had sat around waiting for him, the few significant times where he had just never come back. Those days were long gone, but still I worried. Mainly for his immediate safety, and partly for mine should the worst have occurred. My anticipation grew with every deafening tick of the grandfather clock, aware of each and every second that past in those minutes of his absence.

After what truly seemed an eternity, my heart skipped a beat as the sound of the heavy mahogany doors being opened rattled through the silence. My head shot up from where I'd previously been looking into my lap, and my breathing rate increased by several notches as I saw him finally step into the dining room.

'Kai!' I gasped out breathlessly, instantly getting to my feet and rushing over to him. He took a couple of slow steps into the room, fixating his gaze somewhere on the table. There didn't immediately appear to be anything wrong with him, and yet I had never seen him so discoloured. He too was breathing heavily, and seemed barely able to coerce his legs into moving further into the room.

He didn't seem to notice me until I'd reached him. 'Kai,' I leant forward to look into his face and he finally tore his eyes from whatever he'd been fixated on. 'Kai, what's wrong?'

He didn't respond to me in words; he had no need to. His dull purple eyes lowered to look straight into mine, and they told me what I needed to know. My breathing had become heavy again, my pulse was increased since he had stepped reluctantly into the room. He didn't need to tell me anything, I knew what he was trying to say. My mouth slowly fell open as my eyes became increasingly wider. Even the sound of the grandfather clock had been drowned out by the tension. He didn't move; he still appeared to be pale, but his eyes stayed strongly fixated on mine and the stare didn't waver. The realisation hit me like a bolt of lightning, and my entire body stiffened for a moment and I swear I felt my heart stop. What we knew about before had finally been announced. We had finally turned the corner.

It had begun.

The very next day it was their time to depart. Kai had informed me that morning with relief evident in his tone that almost every single one of them had decided to join up. It was one of the coldest mornings Russia had seen in years; the snow pelted in vast quantities, the clouds were so dark it felt like night. The visibility was so abysmal most of the shops hadn't been opened and the streets were almost completely bare. And despite all that, I found myself bracing the cold wind and hail that morning, pushing myself against the storms and marching to the entrance of the abbey one last time.

I could barely see the building through the thickness of the fog, but I imagined it must feel as empty as it always looked to me, now that the students were leaving it abandoned once more. Several large trucks were stationed on the side of the road, and the burly guards stood by sheparding the departing students inside. A wave of sadness washed over me as I caught familiar faces waving goodbye to their parents for a second time, wrapped up several times in warm clothing that hid their strong but malnourished skin and bones from sight.

How he had recognised me amidst all the others is still a mystery to me; I suppose after all the time forced to be spent in close proximity he just knew my every aspect. Sure enough, as I approached unseen by most of them, his form charged away from the crowds and sprinted towards me in a mad dash.

'Hilary!' he cried, throwing his arms around my neck as though he couldn't believe his eyes. I did much the same, throwing myself at him in utter relief for the last time. We held on to eachother for a while before he finally drew back and stammered 'I-I can't believe…- I thought you were-I thought you might be…'

'No, Nikita, I'm not dead,' I smiled at him devotedly and shook my head at his relieved and disbelieving expression. 'I'm very much alive, and well.' And I couldn't put into words my relief that he appeared to also be fairing suitably. Though his face was still significantly thinner than when we had first met, his eyes still sparkled even in the dull weather, and small teardrops of shock and relief speckled their corners and his lashes.

'I…I can't even begin to…I was so worried!' he choked out, pulling me back towards him for another tight embrace, which I returned with the same amount of gratitude. We had both needed to release our excruciating apprehension, whether or not we had realised it before. We were tormenting ourselves over each other's safety. Those thankful moments released us from something we'd both had on our shoulders.

In the distance the stiff voice of a guard ploughed through the noise of the blizzard. The new heroes of the country were getting ready to depart soon. I scanned over the heads of the crowd for the face of a familiar woman who had been hospitable enough to house me the night before my arrival to the abbey.

Nikita, who either hadn't noticed my concentrated expression or chose to simply let it slide, stepped back from me once more and put on that priceless smile I always loved to see. This time was no exception, until he excitedly informed me of the reason for it.

'We're going to war, Hil!' he practically whispered it but his voice was so filled with delight I caught every word. I finally took my eyes off the crowd and looked back at him.

'You're…?' I couldn't bring myself to complete the question. Somewhere inside I had known it from the beginning, but had preyed with all my might that I had been wrong.

He nodded enthusiastically, showing the same zest he had the day I had been watching him throw his belongings on his bed and avidly talking about the abbey. He was giving me the same look now, and I couldn't help but recall that the belongings he threw on his bed in enthusiasm had later been taken from him and never returned. 'We're going to fight for Russia, truly take part in the action! Isn't that incredible?'

I felt a lump form in the back of my throat, and I felt my heart break a little. Initially I made no effort to prevent my expression from visibly falling, my eyes and lips from drooping as it dawned on me that nobody was coming to take Nikita safely home. He had chosen, as I should have known he would, to follow his newly acquired nationalism and march out to war. He really was the sort of student they were looking for; to let him fall at the loss of the battle I saved him from would have been their biggest mistake. Vivacious Nikita had all the heart in the world; the devotion needed to bring our allies to victory in battle. I realised how foolish I was to even hope for him to make the decision to stay behind.

Finally, I shook my head a little and blinked in an attempt to recompose myself. Clearing my throat and ignoring the nagging voice which quite often rang out through my mind, I forced a smile as convincing as I could make it to my face and croaked out, 'It's wonderful.'

The guards powerful voice rang out one last time, and Nikita heard it too this time. He turned back to see the remainder of the students boarding the trucks and fighting to free themselves from their parents clutching arms. I couldn't blame the poor parents in the least; I had the incessant urge to grab Nikita in much the same way, make a dash in the opposite direction and never let him out of my sight. But I remembered the morning we stood in the stone courtyard in the abbey, and I had wanted to do the same thing. I realised that as long as I knew Nikita he would be rushing into things I would resent or fear, and at some point I would have to just allow it. If he could never be persuaded, I would have to let him go and stop allowing myself to live in fear. Had I known Nikita longer, his energy would have brought me to an early grave.

He turned his smiling face back to my sad eyes and I knew it was time. I brought another smile to my face, for him and him alone, and we wrapped our arms around eachother once more. This embrace was shorter than the first, but still every moment was treasured in my mind. He broke away from me when the guard called out something again, and gave his final smile.

'Do Svidanya, Hilary.' It didn't sound like he was saying goodbye; he spoke as though it were a 'see you later'. The longest later in the eternal universe, and it still has yet to end. But I will always wait for it; the chance to see his smile again.

Before I knew it, he was gone. I watched the back of him sprint to where he believed he belonged, his new home with his new friends who were soon to become his brothers. I suddenly felt dreadfully old and alone; like a mother who watches their only son depart for ever. And many of the mothers standing by were in that very situation, amidst the lucky ones who's children had been treated with enough cruelty to last them a lifetime, and were ready to go back home.

Pulling my collar up against the biting cold, I sniffed and turned on my heel. It would be the last time I set foot on the corner of that road with the intention of walking down it, I decided. No more would I arrive every morning to face my biggest fears again. Never again would I venture down out of curiosity, and wander if the place were deserted. I was done with the hidden street and the doom-inflicting abbey which had continued to bring tragedy for far too long. I felt_ I_ had been dragged into its midst for too long; how Kai felt about it I could scarcely imagine.

For once I didn't cry; no tears left my eyes as I stepped into the heated palace hallway and felt myself burn with the sudden temperature change. No tears as I bid good afternoon to the nurse and headed to my magnificent room. Not even after I sat down before the large ornate mirror did I see my face crack in my reflection. It seemed I had cried enough for them now; there were no tears left.

I wore my most splendid of gowns at the dinner table that night; a stretch of cream silk which stretched across the marble floor behind me, an elaborate pattern embroided over it in gold. Surrounding me were several of the important aristocrats with much say in Russia's industry and economy, as did the Hiwatari's, who had no knowledge of my common social class and didn't care to discuss it with me. Glancing around, I took notice of the fact that somebody important were missing, and deemed it the suitable excuse I was searching for to exempt myself from the company of boring nobles whose languages I didn't understand.

Having ascended the stairs with slight difficulty, I found him in the place I expected him to be in. I cautiously stepped into the library which was so quiet it felt that the noise made from the people downstairs simply cut itself off at the threshold. It was the third largest room in the palace, after the ballroom and dining room, and filled with some of the oldest of texts. Kai always loved being in there; even if he wasn't reading. There was an exquisite view from the large windows, now blackened out completely by the star-less night sky. He stood at the window with his back to me as I entered.

'I think they're getting restless downstairs,' I began awkwardly, not quite sure how he'd react to being disturbed.

I heard him exhale slightly, but he didn't turn around. 'Perhaps they'll leave sooner, then.'

'Why are they here anyway?' I took the opportunity to venture further into the room and peer behind Kai at the blanket of ebony he appeared fascinated with. He caught my eye in the reflection of the window pane and I found myself unable to look elsewhere.

'In celebration,' he said off-handedly. Before I could voice my opinion on how even in today's world war was still valued as something to celebrate, he turned around and changed the subject. I thought for a moment I saw his face soften. 'The nurse said you went out by yourself this morning. Where did you go?'

I suddenly realised it was concern that had written itself across his features. My independence hadn't yet fully returned to me, and I was starting to believe that in taking care of me, his had begun to wane in return. I gave him a forlorn smile, 'I was at the abbey…saying goodbye…'

I trailed off and my eyes lowered to the floor, but I could still feel his on me. His stare didn't burn into my skin this time as it had done in the past when I knew he was looking at me; this time it felt more like a comforting hand, letting me know that everything would be alright, and no harm would be done. And though I knew better than that, it was nice to know it was there.

He didn't speak again, so I chose to break the consoling silence. 'What's going to happen to me?' I asked quietly in a slightly shaken voice. 'Now that I am well again, it makes sense that I should simply return home-'

In the middle of my reluctant deliberations Kai cut across me in a voice so inaudible I at first thought I had imagined it. I paused for a moment to find that he'd again turned to look elsewhere. 'What did you say?' I asked with uncertainty.

Kai cleared his throat and found the good grace to look me in the face again. 'I said you're already there. Hilary,' he took a couple of steps towards where I stood, blinking at him. 'I took it upon myself to protect you. You're barely recovered from…' he trailed off, finding it too difficult to mention the injuries inflicted by him. '…and now that the war's begun it would be too dangerous to go back to Japan. I can't let you go.'

'We're not fourteen anymore, Kai,' I in turn took another step towards him, looking up at him hopefully though I barely knew at the time what it was I was hoping for. 'I came out here by myself, war or no war, I believe myself capable of making the journey back.'

'I can't let you,' he shook his head and gritted his teeth, finding himself once again unable to look me in the face, 'you're not ready'.

A side of me which had been diminishing with every day spent in Russia and was now minute flared up at being told of my own condition. But the small indignant spark went almost unnoticed to me as a wave of something far greater washed over it. Something suddenly hit me, and the moment was so significant nothing could erase it from my memory. It was as though I were having an epiphany; a sudden moment of realisation that had I overlooked it, it would have passed me by and nothing would have been the same. Perhaps I would have insisted on leaving, bid him goodbye for ever and made it back to Japan in good time. But I never knew what could have been, though never regretted it either. Something in the way he spoke, the tone he used and the way he looked at me; the way he'd always looked at me since he'd discovered it was me he had beaten. It wasn't simply guilt. And it wasn't me who wasn't ready. It was him. He didn't want to let me go.

And it was when he spoke again that I realised I didn't want him to let me go either.

'I…I feel responsible for you, Hilary.' I could hear the lack of ease in his voice, which was so unnatural on him it felt as though I were talking to a different person than the one I used to know. 'You could have been killed and I can never forgive myself for almost allowing it to happen.'

'Kai,' I moved even closer this time, into space nobody dared step in before, and lifted my hand to gently force him to look at me again. 'I was there because of me. The injuries were my fault.'

He didn't move away. 'I almost brought your death.' His voice was beginning to sound rasping, and I thought for a moment I could feel his breath on my skin.

I shook my head slightly. 'No, Kai,' I moved even closer until it was definitely his breath wafting over my face, and a small smile crept to my lips by way of total forgiveness. Before I gave myself a chance to contemplate my actions, I felt my eyes begin to close as I whispered softly, 'you saved my life.'

Using the hand which was still below his chin, I pulled myself forwards and pushed my lips against his. For a couple of seconds he didn't react at all, but with I felt his arms wrap themselves strongly around me, I knew he'd broken down the barrier; we both had. Barriers perhaps neither of us had realised even existed until that moment of significant debility. But now we had eachother securely in our grasp; something so strange to think about that we'd never initially planned to happen. And I remembered the daydreams of my fourteen-year old self, and wandered if the enigma in my arms had ever been fully out of my mind. To this day, I wonder about that, when I think back to that memorable kiss that began it all.

From a friend, to a stranger, to a leader, to a partner, to a lover. It seemed I had reached yet another milestone in my recovered relationship with Kai Hiwatari.

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_Intermission_

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(A/N): INTERMISSION TIME! XD

Okay so now the story is officially on hiatus for a while. I need a break from it :P. When am I next updating? …Erm I'm going to say I have no idea, my aim will be…February? Sounds like a long time, but it will fly by! Besides, I have other stories that need working on!

I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, aswell as the story so far. Thankyou for 44 reviews, and 2,000+ hits! My faithful reviewers (you know who you are ;)) you guys are amazing, your positive feedback means the world to me.

Perhaps we can hit 50 reviews for the half-way point? :D Love you guys!


	11. Chapter 11

(A/N): Oh my god! It's been so longgg! But I'm back now to take this wonderful fic off hiatus! :D

Ever read a story where the second half is completely different to the first half, and then by the end of it you sort of go 'wow, was that the same story..?' Well, this is one of those! Second half of this story is most definitely the better half, but completely and utterly different from the first.

I like the beginning of this chapter…middle's a bit iffy…but oh, the end. Well, you'll have to wait and see :P. I think it went quite well considering I took a 6-month break from it and then began a pretty stupid humour fic. And then I managed to call MarianQ Tyson in an email to PKW :S so they both think my brain's been fried…lawl.

Anyway, I'll shut up now! One more thing: I'm introducing another OC soon, though not in this chapter. He's more important than Nikita was, but not in the story nearly as much, so yes…

Disclaimer: I don't own beyblade or any recognisable characters.

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And like the glaciers on the highest of summits, three long years passed us by. With time these years decreased in length; each year we aged, the months of sheltered calm became ever-shorter for me, as they must have done for him aswell. These are the years I look back upon as though I were evoking a dream, or a visionary gap in my own life where I temporarily lived another. I can not look upon it as a life of my own, for it was neither the care-free teenage years I always remembered, nor the life which began when the storm blew over. This was no action to be proud of, nor the provisional sanctuary I were to seek later on. These were the years we were kept from the action; only with the knowledge I sometimes believed tore him to the very core.

Kai was the imperative concern during those times. With all we knew about, the horror being faced far away from where we resided, it was the stress that kept him awake at night, and the fear behind his eyes, that worried me more than anything else. To me, we were so far, _worlds _away, even. The gun fires were penetrating into human lives so soundly I felt we needn't worry. I knew of the war; we heard the news the same way everybody else did. Kai even ensured he receive a list of every death, and with every name he recognised as a former student, emaciated by his doing alone, I feared a small part of him died with them. Rarely did I recognise the names myself, and I realised at that point that I never knew the tormented boys I suffered alongside nearly as well as their brutal and supposedly unjust leader.

The one name I always looked for never showed up in the packages.

It would be a lie to state here that the absence of the boys name alone was what kept me going through those times. I could not say that with distance, the naivety I possessed grew ever slimmer, and I tore myself apart with worry of what would become of the two of us, or the country we both now loved so dearly. No, it would be a false statement if I said that there weren't some days where the war never even crossed my mind at all.

We were still young, and as far as I was concerned, we were free. I believe even Kai could tear his thoughts away from the battles and endless lists of the dead to make me happy every so often, and pretend that he was too. In the summer months we threw grand parties in the ballroom, and cuddled together closely through the cold nights of the unforgiving winter. We told ourselves it wouldn't be long, and I never knew if he too genuinely believed it. I don't even recall what I believed at that time; probably nothing save for what he told me. For either love or a hidden despair I had no knowledge of possessing, I had given heed to his opinions and temporarily banished my own to make room for them.

The fleeting few seconds where I wished my love would allow me to return home alone were banished faster than the rest of my judgements, and the thought of being away from Kai was no longer something I believed I could handle. Sometimes I dreamt he'd be taken from me; a concept which irked me greater than that of him slowly eradicating himself with painful anxiety. It was a pain felt by the two of us, though he would never have wanted to know this, but the feeling of being without him ached even more. It was for my benefit that he still allowed himself to smile on occasion, and for both of ours that he held me even tighter during the nights these dreams took place.

Love bound him to me, as it did me to him. Love he never outwardly expressed through words, but with gestures to keep me content through his inner-destruction, and news he chose to keep from me; secrets he chose to defer for my sake, of what was really occurring in the rest of Asia.

How appalled I was to finally learn the truth he'd kept from me.

For a long period of time I completely lost track. The months and days flew away from me in a haze of smog while I carelessly lived through each one with ease, so safely and innocuously far away. Even the time spun out of my control once the grandfather clock in the grand dining room inexplicably ceased to work one day.

I remember the day I had looked upon its majestic face and wondered why the two largest hands had remained still since that morning. The ticking persisted to echo through the room, seemingly becoming more strident as the sound bounced off the aged walls. It almost gave the impression I were being deafened with every second that still passed me by, while the hours and the minutes had suddenly given way.

I had never enquired about the clock; it was a silly stroke of curiosity resulting from having an excess of what the clock had failed to tell. There were long hours to fill in those years, and even the most absurd and inconsequential of curiosities were ones I had the time to consider in the many hours I had to myself in blissful ignorance.

And while the clock still clicked, though it failed to inform, we wondered how much longer this war would persist to drag the worthy people of our continent and country into the dust. He must have wondered it himself. We would discuss it often, when we weren't trying to fool ourselves and bask in trivial conversation or simply reminisce over the past we both knew was long gone. Had I looked into a crystal ball all those years ago, and seen this life ahead of me, I would never have believed it possible. If they could see us now…I always did wonder what they would have said. To this day I wonder how they faired, the ones I have yet to lay eyes on again.

As I sat at my dresser in front of the ornate mirror I still miss with a pang of materialistic guilt, I refocused my eyes and returned from my daydream to stare at my reflection. I was twenty. The age had barely taken its toll -after all, we were still young- but my growth and the maturation was evident. No scars had left their defining mark on my skin from the days I starved with the boys-turned-men, who braced the harsh conditions they were accustomed to while I sat in the warmth like a doll. The bruise Kai had painfully inflicted on my cheek was the first of the wounds to heal and disappear. There was no longer a trace of them.

An important dinner at the ornate Sovietsky hotel was the occasion I prepared myself for that night. My imperfections were concealed by the mounds of makeup applied to my paling skin, and the stunning dress of midnight blue lay behind me on the bed. Staring at the article of clothing in the mirror, I almost refrained from putting it on; the idea of wearing something so beautiful frightened me at the consideration of what I might do to it, and how it could be damaged.

But despite the foolish hesitations, I slipped the expensive garment of blue material on and reached through the drawers in the white dresser to find the diamond necklace I owned amongst the beautiful and inimitable jewellery, some of which the Hiwataris had been in possession of for centuries, and some of which were obtained for me. Those jewels were far too precious and valuable to have ended up in the filthy hands they did.

Kai was especially distant that evening. I suspected at the time a certain death-count had irked him, for after the smile when he sighted me atop the stairs, his face remained a lighter shade of its usual pale. I took his hand in mine, and he squeezed it once before loosening his grip again, and when he kissed me his eyes were cast downwards. There was something on his mind. Perhaps I should have enquired, but my belief is that I never really wanted to know anyway.

We slid into the back of the car, still loosely hand-in-hand, and spoke next to nothing as we drove through the dazzling city in the dusk, preparing inwardly for what I suspected would be just another spectacular party.

'You're being quiet today,' I tried, concern written in my tone of voice as I tried to draw his eyes from the window.

'Sorry,' he mumbled as a response, or something he deemed fit enough to be one. He did not look my way, his gaze seemingly too drawn towards something on the deep blue waters we passed by. I sighed and sat back, knowing he would be okay. He squeezed my hand a final time, to let me know he was still alive, despite the news plaguing his mind, that he never brought himself to tell me.

The hotel was stunning, though admittedly I don't remember much of it. The first few hours went by in a blur, an elaborate blur of beautiful dresses and expensive drinks, and countless guests who spoke with zest, all satisfied for a reason not yet known to me.

'Isn't it wonderful?' a little girl said to me, brilliant smile planted on her plump porcelain face as her long hear of curls bounced around her little green gown.

I knelt down to her level and looked into her gleaming face, smiling softly and responding, 'It is…so wonderful…' I resisted the urge to follow my curiosity, inquire as to what they were all so happy about that evening, what Kai had heard which made him uneasy, and why nobody had thought to inform me.

The small girl was dragged away by her mother and I rejoined Kai at the long table we were seated at. I smiled and laughed along with those who engaged me in alleviated conversation. After three years I was far moved from the stage of being unable and unwilling to converse with any of them. Kai, though he would answer to discussions with single-syllable responses, remained in the same distracted zone throughout, and something gave me the impression the decision to partake in this apparent celebration had not been one of his own.

Still I didn't ask what vexed and troubled him, and for his sake I didn't demand an explanation. I'd learned from enough years spent knowing Kai that nothing would work if there was something he wanted to keep to himself. And aside from that, I needn't have bothered; as the man who had organized this celebration stepped to the podium, it would only be a few minutes before all was revealed.

The man welcomed us and commenced with his speech, the remainder of the aristocrats in the ballroom pausing in their exhilaration to take in what he was saying. The speech consisted mainly of what I already knew; the list of gains and loses and every battle where the Russians had seen exultant victory. All the while we clapped and smiled and basked in the glory our brave fighters brought to us while we sat in gowns and heard speeches of their wins, loses and many deaths.

'And as we all know,' he grinned, staring at all the knowing faces who gazed right back. I turned to Kai, whose breathing had become evident. He bit his lip and I felt his hand take mine, resting it on his thigh. The voice I was barely listening to anymore persisted, 'our soldiers have seen victory yet again, pushing Russia further towards finally seeing victory, in this constant battle and never-ending war.'

The occupants surrounding me filled the room with applause, and Kai's grip tightened slightly on my hand. My gaze was torn from his as the man pressed on, nearing the end of his triumphant speech.

'I speak today in honour of our soldiers, though there may be few of them in comparison to our enemies. Their strength and our partnership with the Balkan states in Europe have finally granted us an immense upper-hand in this war, with their triumphant defeat against Japan.'

I froze, stiff with the all-too-familiar horror I hadn't experienced in years. Kai's hand clasped mine tightly but still he couldn't look at me, nor I at him. I stared blankly straight ahead of me, my eyes fixated on the speaker but I wasn't seeing a thing. I thought for a moment I felt my own heart stop as the waves of a blissful and barely-existent life I'd been living suddenly crashed down on cold stone before my very eyes.

'With success in almost every battle, our forces were able to move in and claim control of the government, leaving the surrounding areas in ruins. The first to fall were the cities of Sapporo and Aomiro, from whence we marched to the centre of the country and finally gained control over Tokyo.'

I flinched as the name of my home town was spoken. I clenched down on my teeth as my fist balled itself under Kai's hand. As the room surrounding us erupted into applause, my naïve and barely-existent hopes plummeted as I suddenly realised with a painful jolt that the ones I knew and loved were suffering, while I'd spent three long years sitting back and wasting every worry I had over Kai and his anxiety alone.

'…_Things are about to change, and it's not for the better. Sometimes it seems like I alone can see the damage…since you left us…'_

The guilt settled in and stung almost as painfully as the shock. How could I have disappeared like this? And not return or even make the slightest effort in contact, if only to let them know I was still alive. The thought that they might no longer be alive was something which had never even occurred to me until that moment. Suddenly I felt dizzy, a malady settling in like none I had ever felt before. It wasn't the same as watching boys disappear in front of me in defeat, as I had become accustomed to once before. This was the thought of my loved ones no longer being around to see my return; the return I only realised at that moment, had not been a part of my plans for a while.

Breathing so heavily I feared I'd pass out, I wrenched my hand free and charged in the direction of the lobby. I doubt any of them noticed me take my leave, all so caught up in the malevolent stimulation of a brutal and inhumane conquest that can only be developed through war.

Of course, one of them took off after me. But he didn't reach me until I'd fled through the doors, out into the cold and pouring rain.

'Hilary,' he took my arm and forced me to turn and face him. I fought hard against him, thumping his chest with my fists as he seized my other arm. My tears were safe to fall now, amongst the rain droplets they blended with and slid smoothly down my cheeks.

'Let me go!' I cried out, caring very little at how childish I sounded at that moment, standing in the street fighting like we had no shame, watching our grandest outfits slowly destroy in contact with the pounding water. 'Kai, I can't stay here and listen to this!'

'We won't stay here, we'll go back home,' he said desperately, trying to pull me in the direction of the car.

Finding the voice and strength I'd long-since lost, I finally pushed him from me. He staggered a little but didn't try to take hold of me again. I stood before him, shaking with cold and with rage, teeth bared mainly to prevent the shivering. He stared at me helplessly, also beginning to quiver as the rain seeped into the fabric his clothes and made contact with his skin.

'I am going home,' I tried my hardest to speak steadily. 'But not your home.'

I saw him droop a little further, but my anger kept me from the sympathy I had reserved for him. He shook his head slowly, pressing on despite my determination. 'You can't go back, not now. You don't even-'

'Why didn't you tell me?' I interrupted him, my despair suddenly showing in my uneven tone and cracked voice. I felt more tears fall against the icy droplets from the sky but didn't even blink as I glared into his eyes.

'You know why,' he responded, gently but sternly as he made his way back towards me. Thunder sounded in the distance and I gave in to my body's need for warmth, allowing Kai to pull me towards the car.

He opened the door and I clambered in first, resting my head against the window pane and trying my hardest not to look at him, especially as I knew he was looking at me. For quite a few minutes we didn't speak, not that I could have said a word amidst the crying. I tried to stop but to no avail, and so I wept as we drove, trying not to close my eyes for fear of what I'd see in my mind.

'Did-did you j-ust…think y-you could…keep this from me f-forever?' I stammered out between sobs, still not looking in Kai's direction.

There was a brief silence before I heard his soft response, in a voice so small I knew how ridiculous he must have thought it. 'It was the only way I could think of to keep you protected.'

By the time we reached the house the rain had stopped, replaced by a thick blaze of deep red as the brilliant sun was beginning to set. The entire house had a glow that evening as I stormed up the front courtyard steps and forced my way past the maid, still sobbing as I felt my hair and dress stick to me.

But much to my chagrin, he was too fast for me. He stepped out in front before I could reach the staircase and I realised this was going to be difficult. Our breathing picked up again as I glared through the tears at his sympathetic but determined expression, the face of a man I still can't believe I was so prepared to walk away from after all those years.

'You can't make me stay here,' I threatened, my voice once again steady as I regained my composure, 'not while I know that my home's being destroyed. I refuse to stay here and celebrate while the people I love could be dying.'

'I…' he was truly lost for words. His face faltered as mine hardened, and I believe he realised at that moment that nothing he said could persuade me to stay. The Kai I used to know, once made of steel, had begun to rust in the unforgiving faces of love and war. 'I can't…I can't let you…'

I shook my head dangerously as more tears fell to contradict my strength. 'You don't have a choice.'

It was his love that fought to convince me to stay, and at all costs he probably believed he could restrain me. But it was my love that drove me to fight back, and a determination he couldn't deny he would also show in this situation. That Kai I used to know was so resolute, nobody in the world could have prevented him from marching home like I wanted to. And he knew he had no right to keep me there, especially as there was only one place I had to be at that time.

He gave in to me that night. Against every fibre of his being, every voice in his wise mind, every sentiment he'd ever had, he subsided for what he knew would be the only way I would ever forgive him. I knew back then what I know now; that he had only kept it from me because he believed it was right. He truly did care about me, and loved me as I did him. But I could never stand the thought of secrets being kept from me, and especially such a fatal one as this. I had to regain the independence I had originally set out to achieve, and lost somewhere along the way. I had to turn my back on Moscow, and return to the country I loved more than any other.

I'm almost ashamed to say it wasn't difficult, the leave. He wouldn't move from the stairs, but turned his face away as he dug into his pocket. Pulling out a small wad of money, he planted it into my hand and continued to focus his frown on the floor to his left. My fortitude overpowered the possibility of a sorrowful parting. I took the money, and turned on my heel. I didn't thank him for his concede defeat, nor even for the money. I didn't take his hand, or kiss his lips a final time. I didn't linger to spill out a heart-felt goodbye.

I reached the door and asked the driver to take me to the station, though I knew full-well it was in walking distance. I looked back briefly at the man who hadn't said another word. Taking in a breath, grateful he hadn't decided to look into my eyes, I controlled my voice a final time.

'Do Svidanya, Kai.'

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(A/N): Ahh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I made you wait so long just for _that_ to happen! But on the plus side, it will be updated quite soon, as it's not off hiatus now! And of course, the KaiHil is obviously not over!

…Don't kill me! My parents, friends and reviewers will not be happy!

How about reviewing instead? :D


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